5 MMA Conspiracies That Will Keep You Up at Night
Over the next five slides you will uncover some of the most shocking and disturbing discoveries in the world of MMA. Including "The Truth" about Dana White, sports betting, thrown fights and the worlds best fighter who has never stepped foot in a cage.
So grip onto your seats, boys and girls, and get ready for a bumpy ride!!
1. Josh Barnett's Test Results Were Fixed
So bear with me here...
We all saw the Barnett VS Rizzo fight. As a relative new comer to the sport I had heard of Barnett, but never seen him fight.
I have to admit the first thing that sprung into my mind when he came walking to the ring was not "WOW, this dude is jacked! He looks like a beast; he might even be on the 'roids!"
In fact, it was quite the opposite and went something along the lines of "WOW, this dude looks kind of out of shape for a legend; beer gut, man tits, kinda looks like Tim Sylvia’s physique when he was made to stop taking the 'roids...oh well, Fedor looks kinda out of shape and he's an animal, lets give this guy a chance."
To the left is a picture from the weigh-in at Josh's latest fight against Gilbert Yvel. Again, you don't look at this man and think "This is man at his physical peak".
My only point of reference for steroid abusers are Sean Sherk and Tim Sylvia, who when they were caught both looked in tremendous physical condition.
I know what you’re going to say; “He's done it before! He was caught using roids back in the day and kicked out the UFC!” And you are right. But don't you see, that’s why it's the perfect crime!
No one is going to question when someone who tested positive for steroids in the past tests positive again. Why would you??
My challenge to you is this; Go on Google and find a picture of Barnett when he was on the roids and compare it to the Barnett that you saw against Rizzo and see in the picture here...can you hear the alarm bells?
Okay, I see you are starting to bite. You see I have at least some basis, but now you’re screaming at me, “Kieran, I don’t understand, WHO would do such a thing? And WHY?”.
Allow me to divulge....
As Affliction crumbles into the dust, humbly returning to the UFC as a mere sponsor of T-shirts and nothing more. One man becomes open for signing.
One man who is considered by many to be the best MMA heavyweight and pound-for-pound fighter in the world.
His options are slim, his morals high but in his hands lays the potential for the biggest fight EVER in the history of MMA.
And who do you think is going to be cashing in?
Brock VS Fedor will be the biggest fight ever.
This you cannot question.
It will sell the most PPVs in UFC history and will break records on the gate, making millions for the UFC and the "White Administration."
So you do the math, fill in the blanks. Fedor said he had no intention of signing with the UFC and why would he? He had a good spot on Affliction and was making money.
Now, he really doesn't have that many options and although he says money is not the issue here, with the amount that Dana White is about to throw at him I predict a relatively speedy turn around. The signing and the fight will be announced within the next three months.
So let’s look back at this conspiracy...
Could Dana White rig the test? .... YES
Would Dana White rig the test? .... Probably
Did Dana White rig the drug test in order to put on the biggest fight in MMA history, crush a competitor and make millions of dollars....?
2. Dana White Is a Vampire
Lets look at the facts...
1- He survives off the blood of others.
2- He has stated himself that he hardly sleeps!
3- Bald head, pale skin, bulging eyes...tell me you don't see it!?
...and my mate Big Dave told me he heard that Dana doesn't like garlic, so that has me sold.
Here is your challenge: Go up to Dana White, stuff a handful of garlic down his pants and see what happens...
3. Kimbo Slice Threw the Seth Petruzelli Fight
Go to YouTube and watch the video. This picture is of the punch that knocked Kimbo down.
Its was a short swing that clipped his ear and hit is shoulder, then Kimbo pretty much holds position on the floor for Seth to land as many hits as he can before the fight gets stopped.
Elite XC was already on the way out. The promoters knew it and Kimbo knew it.
Seth came in on short notice for Ken Shamrock. Ask yourself; what were the odds of Kimbo getting TKO'd in 14 seconds?
At this time in his career, he was undefeated with wins over heavy hitters like Tank Abbott and James Thompson. The answer you should logically come up with is ... VERY, VERY slim.
Anyone who put money on an early first round TKO by Seth would have walked away with a nice pocketful of change... Just a thought.
Here is your challenge: go to YouTube and examine the fight. If you still think that Seth won without any dodgy dealings, step away from your computer and examine your life...
4. Cung Le is Actually Nong Tum: Thailand’s Former Champion Kickboxer Turned Lady Boy
I know this one is a little bit of a stretch... well, a very big stretch.
But if you discard a few irrelevant facts such as: Cung Le is Vietnamese, the dates do not match up and that Nong Tum is still currently in Thailand doing modeling and fighting...I think we are on to something REALLY big.
Your Challenge is this: Go to Thailand, find Nong Tum and by the manner of a quick tap in a certain area, establish how far along the procedure he/she is. Report back once you have found all your teeth.
5. I Am MMA's Best Kept Secret!!!
Forget Fedor. Forget Silva. Forget GSP.
The world’s best pound-for-pound fighter has been right here all along masquerading as a humble writer on BR!
You can tell from my Batman outfit that even at an early age I was ready to take on any foe put in front of me and fight for what is Just and True.
Straight after this picture I was taking from my parents to live and train with monks up in the mountains of Tibet.
Over the next 20 years, I learned to master pretty much every single martial art and fighting style known to man.
However, as Spiderman’s uncle once said, "With great power comes great responsibility".
I was sworn never to unleash my deadly skills upon the world.
...shame though because that Brock Lesnar would have got a right clip around the ear hole for his shenanigans....
Your Challenge: Go spend 20 years in Tibet, don’t forget to write.
So these are my five MMA Conspiracies. I hope this has been as fun to read as it has been to write and honestly if it hasn't, you can sod off; it's not like you're paying me!
Out of the five, I believe that two of them could very well be true. See if you can guess which two...