ESPN To Air Red Sox Game

ESPN announced today its intentions to air a baseball game featuring the Boston Red Sox on Sunday. In a press release, the network stated that “this team is a cornerstone of Major League Baseball, and we have been neglecting them for too long. We will remedy this stunning lack of attention to the Red Sox by featuring them on our ‘Sunday Night Baseball’ program in the hopes that Americans everywhere will fall in love with this band of scrappy overachievers.”

 

ESPN, which has not aired a Red Sox game since Monday, could only find one comparison for their neglect of the Red Sox. “We feel that we have let the entire sports world down through this shameful lack of coverage. We are reminded of the Yankees teams of the last decade, whose hard-working attitude in the face of monstrous odds was completely absent from our various sports coverage programs. To this day we know nothing about their front-office personnel, from their faceless owner to their anonymous general manager, and even their manager was a mystery to us.”

Added the network, “But there we go again, not talking about the Red Sox. We are so, so sorry, Boston.”

The press release concluded with the network’s pledge to cover the Red Sox as much as any other team, and a wistful hope for the future. “If only the Yankees and Red Sox could play each other, we would cover it 20 times a year, ” read the release. “At least.”