It's My 139th Article...Now Bow Down and Kiss My Feet

Paul Augustin, Jr.Senior Analyst IJuly 23, 2009

Oh man...where do I begin?

I could tell you about all of the people that I have met through B/R, the family members that I have brought along as I tell them about my own articles, or the outlet B/R has provided for me.

I won't, though.

Because no one cares.

Nor should they.

I don't rant very often, but here it goes.

It is no accomplishment to write 100 articles on this site. Get over yourself.

If you write 100 articles in three months is just means that you have nothing to do all day but write articles.

You're probably in high school or just out of high school and have nothing else to do.

You probably have little to no responsibility like a spouse, kids, or a full-time job.

The beauty and ugliness of Bleacher Report is that anyone can write 1,000 articles. Writers are not held to any real standard.

Apart from profanity-laced articles and harassing comments, there are very few ways to get "fired" from this site.

If you write 25 terrible articles on Bleacher Report, you're allowed to write number 26 the next day.

Try doing that for a major web site that pays your salary.

When you write 25, 50, or 100 articles for fox sports or sports illustrated or a similar site, then I'll congratulate you.

Enough with all of the milestone articles. Please.

There, I asked nicely.

I'm tired of going to Bleacher Report's front page and scrolling through the top six articles only to see that one of the spaces is being wasted by someone telling me about their B/R journey or about how many accomplishments they have.

Stop telling us about all of the articles that have amassed 10,000+ reads and appeared on cbssports, Yahoo!, sports illustrated, etc.

Stop telling us about all of the blogs for which you have been asked to write.

Many of the people on this site have articles that have appeared prominently on other major web sites and have been invited to write blogs for other sites.

You're not special and no one cares.

It's fine to promote yourself, especially if you are an aspiring journalist, but please don't be obnoxious about it.

You don't want to turn into this guy.

Stop telling us about where you are ranked on B/R in 12 different categories.

You should realize by now that your ranking says more about how often you write rather than how well you write.

Some of the "featured writers" are not even in the top five for their own team. They write well but not often.

The ranking system is geared to encourage a high volume of articles and comments on the site.

More articles mean more web site traffic. It means that you will receive more comments.

It means that you are going to check the web site 57 times a day to see what someone has said about your article.

More web site traffic means more advertising revenue.

The ranking system is also biased (maybe unintentionally) towards big markets.

If you write an article about a team from New York, Boston, Los Angeles, Chicago, or Philadelphia, you will get a ton of reads, comments, five-star ratings, and several POTD votes because those cities are huge and naturally have a lot of fans.

Try writing that same article about a team from Milwaukee, Kansas City, or Jacksonville. You'll get about 42 reads and two comments, and one of those comments will be your own.

Go look at the top 50 rankings for the NFL, MLB, and NBA. Look at the "writes about" column and notice all those big cities near or at the top.

The big-market writers are naturally going to be ranked higher than the small-market writers, whether they are actually good or not.

I'm a small-market writer and I'm fine with it because I don't care about my rank.

Stop telling me about your rank because I care less about your rank than my own, and your rank is flawed anyway.

Don't get me wrong. There are some highly ranked writers that are fantastic and happen to be big market, but they don't keep telling us about how great they think they are.

My unsolicited advice is that you focus on writing high quality, well-thought, opinion articles and thoroughly-researched, fact-based articles instead of self-glorifying pieces and narcissistic profiles.

That's my rant.