New York Mets: Ryan Church Owns You...and Here's Why

"The Man I" lets you in on why Ryan Church is "teh h4x0rs" at baseball.

by The Man I (Member)

1

352 reads

Sports

May 09, 2008

MLB, NL East, NL Central, New York Mets, Cincinnati Reds, Ryan Church, Satire

With tonight's game against the Reds rained out, I figured we should all do some catching up on the Mets MVP thus far, Ryan Church...

  • There is no 'ctrl' button on Ryan Church's computer. Ryan Church is always in control.
  • Ryan Church can kill two stones with one bird.
  • There is no such thing as global warming. Ryan Church was cold, so he turned the sun up.
  • Ryan Church can strangle you with a cordless phone.
  • Ryan Church is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
  • When Ryan Church crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
  • Ryan Church ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
  • Ryan Church always has sex on the first date. Always. 
  • God said "Let there be light," Ryan Church said "Say please."
  • Ryan Church once played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
  • Ryan Church lost his virginity before his dad did.

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comments (1) write a comment »

  1. reply to comment by Cody
    5 months ago

    Fact-This article is a rip-off.

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About the Author The Man I (member)

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