New York Mets: Ryan Church Owns You...and Here's Why

"The Man I" lets you in on why Ryan Church is "teh h4x0rs" at baseball.

by The Man I (Member)

1

346 reads

Sports

May 09, 2008

MLB, NL East, NL Central, New York Mets, Cincinnati Reds, Ryan Church, Satire

With tonight's game against the Reds rained out, I figured we should all do some catching up on the Mets MVP thus far, Ryan Church...

  • There is no 'ctrl' button on Ryan Church's computer. Ryan Church is always in control.
  • Ryan Church can kill two stones with one bird.
  • There is no such thing as global warming. Ryan Church was cold, so he turned the sun up.
  • Ryan Church can strangle you with a cordless phone.
  • Ryan Church is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
  • When Ryan Church crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
  • Ryan Church ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
  • Ryan Church always has sex on the first date. Always. 
  • God said "Let there be light," Ryan Church said "Say please."
  • Ryan Church once played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
  • Ryan Church lost his virginity before his dad did.

Sports

346 views

Share:

  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • Print

comments (1) write a comment »

  1. reply to comment by Cody
    5 months ago

    Fact-This article is a rip-off.

write a new comment


Edit this Article Article History

About the Author The Man I (member)

  • 1 articles written
  • 1 comments posted
  • 0 fans

The Man's recent articles

FREE SPORTS TEXT ALERTS

  • Get team scores and news sent to your cell phone during and after each game.
  • We do not charge for these services, but standard messaging rates or other charges apply.
  • Cancel anytime by replying STOP to any message.

Step 1: Choose a team

League:

Step 2: Enter your phone number

( ) -
Standard Messaging Rates or other charges apply. To Opt-out text STOP to 4INFO (44636). For more information text HELP to 4INFO (44636). Contact your carrier for more details.

Want to write for Bleacher Report

We are a community of fans who write about sports. And we're growing.

Learn More and Sign Up »