Charlie "Chuck Wagon" Weis today attempted to explain the root of his disdainful comments aimed at the Michigan football program during Notre Dame’s Blue & Gold Team Brunch, citing a doctor’s report claiming that his empty stomach was to blame.
“Coach Weis has a rare disorder in which the sustenance levels in his stomach have a direct effect on the activity in his brain,” said Dr. Portly McStout, Weis’ nutritionist. “On an empty stomach, it’s as if he has no brain at all.”
Weis defended his statements, claiming that on game days he stays sharp by downing enough food to satisfy a small army. He claimed he hadn’t yet had time to partake in the brunch buffet due to a hectic schedule, and could therefore not be held responsible for the anti-Wolverine sentiment.
“I realize my statements were dumb now," Weis lamented after an afternoon at a South Bend-area Golden Corral. "Hell, we’re coming off a 3-9 season, we’ve been bitch-slapped by Michigan the past two years, and it’s only May, for chrissakes. You could compare it to a drunk guy singing karaoke. I made a fool of myself, and I don’t remember a damn thing. I just should not speak, especially with a microphone, on an empty tank.”
No word on whether Weis had eaten enough prior to games coached last season.