The Five Greatest John Sterling Home Run Calls

Format and other boring stuff

The format can get a little confusing at times, so I am going to explain it all right now. There will be two slides for each position. The first slide will have the number one player at that position. I will list his statistics during the 2000's (all career and season statistics are as of 7/16/2009) and write why I think he belongs there. The second slide for the position will be honorable mentions, in which I will probably list anywhere from five to twenty, depending on the position. There will be all the regular positions, catcher, first base, second base, third base, shortstop, left field, right field, center field, starting pitcher, closer, designated hitter and variety. Variety is someone who has played their career at two or more positions. For example, Michael Young has played 416 games at second base, and 787 games at shortstop. Since splitting his stats up between his time at both positions would be incredibly tedious, it works much better this way. Also, there is a "Kids Section." This kids section is for players who have played four or less years in the major leagues, but have established themselves among the games best players. Also, a player with one asterisk * next to their name means that their career started after the year 2000, and a player with two asterisks ** next to their names means that their career ended before 2009. I am only doing this because some player's statistics might not seem as good as they are, but that would be because they didn't play out the full 10 years of the decade. Lastly, all of my picks are completely non-bias, and as much as you might not want to hear it, include steroid users. I include steroid users not because I support them (trust me, I hate A-Rod's guts), but because even if it wasn't natural, they still played amazing baseball, and while they don't deserve the credit, if they played the most outstanding ball over the last 10 years, they will go on this list. Hope you enjoy!

All 2000's Catcher: Ivan Rodriguez

Starter: Ivan Rodriguez .300 158 HR's 626 RBI's
Backup: Jorge Posada .283 197 HR's 778 RBI's

Rodriguez, with the exception of the last few years, has been one of the most dominant players in baseball, aside from being one of the most dominant catchers in baseball. His ability to hit for a high average, mixed with some power and an incredible arm behind the plate results in being number one of this list. Jorge is a close second because of his higher power numbers over the last 10 years, but what earns Pudge first in this race is not the .300 batting average, it's the spectacular defense that Jorge has been lacking. Though Jorge is a good catcher, Pudge has five Gold Gloves since 2000, and that is what separates Pudge from Jorge. By the way, Jorge and Pudge went head to head in the 2003 world series. Pudge hit .273, Jorge, .158.

All 2000's Catcher Honorable Mentions

Jason Varitek: .261 147 HR's 583 RBI's (3 time all star)
*Victor Martinez: .298 102 HR's 510 RBI's (3 time all star)
A.J. Pierzinski- .285 108 HR's 523 RBI's (2 time all star)
*Brian McCann- .297 78 HR's 332 RBI's (4 time all star)
Bengie Molina- .277 129 HR's 635 RBI's (2 time gold glove)
Jason Kendall- .284 42 HR's 481 RBI's 100 SB (1 time all star)
Ramon Hernandez- .261 139 HR's 617 RBI's (1 time all star)
Joe Mauer- .323 59 HR's 350 RBI's (3 time all star 2 time batting champion)

2. The Melkman Delivers!

An obvious reference to the fact his name sounds a lot like the word "milk." Of course, this is dumb and corny, but clever at the same time, so it is not so dumb. But corny, oh yes. It's as blush in the face as they get.

It's almost that you don't want to laugh, because in reality, the line isn't that funny, it's the fact that some guy in his 60's has the courage to say it with so much attitude and meaning to millions (a bit of an exaggeration) of people.

Either way, this is a great line, no matter how corny or dumb it is.

Dumb Scale: 7.5/10

1. It's a Thrilla! From Godzilla!

This is brutal. If you've ever heard Sterling make this call, you've probably just blushed in the face and said, "can this guy find anything better to do?" Well, you bet that I say that every day of my life.

This is clearly the worst call, especially the way he pronounces the word "Thriller," as he says "Thrilla," and it bothers me to the point where I sometimes turn off the radio and just start laughing. "A Thrilla from Godzilla!"

It's hilarious, no doubt, yet so dumb and corny it must be number one. Or is it?

Dumb Scale: 9/10

Real No. 1. It's an A-Bomb, from Matsui!

Surprise! A surprise that a) the previous slide wasn't actually the last slide and b) John Sterling blew a call. The man of many nicknames accidentally switched up A-Rod's and Hideki's, and I would put good money on it that he rather would have said "It's a Thrilla - from A-Rod!"

The way it came out was "It's an A-Bomb!" in reference to Matsui. If you took World History, you should probably figure this one out. If you still can't, go on to wikipedia and look up World War II, because I find it rather offensive to say what it would actually mean.

If you heard him say it live, or heard it eventually, you couldn't help but laugh your head off at the E-10 bone head play that Sterling made that day.

Dumb Scale: 11/10 (that call was pure dumbness)

Other Good Calls

"Jorgie juiced one!"- A call for Jorge Posada
Dumb Scale: 6/10

The call itself isn't very dumb, but the fact that Sterling still says the word "juiced" in a home run call after all of the steroid allegations in baseball says a lot for his intelligence.

"It's a Tex Message!"- A call for Mark Teixiera
Dumb Scale: 4.5/10
This one isn't very dumb, and in fact, it is clever. A decent nickname.

"El Capitano!"- A call for Derek Jeter
Dumb Scale: 8/10
This is pure dumb. It has no meaning, and isn't even funny at all. It is plain stupid, and that's why it did so well on the scale. Go figure.

And of course,
"The Yankees win!!! Thaaaaaa Yankees win!!!"- Sterling's call after a Yankee win.
Dumb Scale: 7.5/10
The call itself isn't dumb, it makes perfect sense. It is the way he says it that gets people excited.

But is it really excitement, or is it just knowing that what you're listening to is so BS that it just seems funny? You have to answer that for yourself.

I hope you enjoyed the list. I hope you enjoy mocking Sterling as much as I do. If there are any other great Sterling lines that I forgot, please tell me.