Let's start with (most of) the bench.
Although these free agents aren't starting on this hypothetical team, they were cheap enough to garner our attention.
Backup PG: Jameer Nelson, Dallas Mavericks
Jameer Nelson isn't the three-point assassin he was in 2010, but he's still someone who can give the Mavericks 30-plus minutes a night. That he'll earn under $2.8 million next season after being the Orlando Magic's highest-paid player in 2013-14 leaves him as one of the NBA's more understated steals.
Backup SG: Vince Carter, Memphis Grizzlies
Nothing about Vince Carter's deal with the Grizzlies is overly spectacular. Three years and a little over $12 million is just about right for the 37-year-old.
But the market for free-agent shooting guards was weird and pricey overall. Avery Bradley and Jodie Meeks know what yours truly is talking about. The Grizzlies locked up a solid two-way vet for two years (third year is non-guaranteed)—one who has made the transition from superstar to role player better than any future Hall of Famer in recent memory.
Backup SF: Luol Deng, Miami Heat
Say it with me now: Miami sure knows how to retool quickly.
After losing LeBron James to his free-agency mulligan, the Heat responded by landing two-time All-Star Luol Deng for two years and $20 million, the second of which is a player option.
Funny thing is, Deng turned down a three-year, $30 million deal from the Chicago Bulls before he was traded to the Cleveland Cavaliers, according to Yahoo Sports' Adrian Wojnarowski. The Heat signed him for just as much annually over less time when he might have been able to net more elsewhere. That's a win.
Backup SF: Shawn Marion, Cleveland Cavaliers
It's been 11 years since Shawn Marion played for anything under $6.6 million annually.
The Cavaliers landed him for the veteran's minimum.
Backup PF: Kris Humphries, Washington Wizards
No one's saying Kris Humphries is the steal of all steals, but his per-36 minute rebounding numbers are always solid, and he adds physical size up front.
At three years and $13 million, the Wizards will gladly take him off the Boston Celtics' hands.
Backup PF/C: Carlos Boozer, Los Angeles Lakers
Technically, Carlos Boozer wasn't a free agent. Technically, it doesn't matter.
Boozer was slated to earn $16.8 million next year. He'll still see every cent of that thanks to the amnesty clause, but the Lakers are footing a crazy-cheap $3.25 million for his services.
Those services still include scoring in bunches and registering the more-than-occasional double-double, by the way. So, yeah. Boozer is cheap labor for the Lakers.
Not so much for the Chicago Bulls, who are basically paying him $13 million-plus to play for another team.