Hello. Come in, I'm glad you came. Sit down. Can I get you something to drink? Coffee, distilled water, perhaps something stronger, Nos Active, whiskey?
Great, that's great. But let's get down to brass tacks now. I called you in today because I want to level with you. I want to be honest. You do appreciate honesty, don't you? Honest discussions. They make the world go around, in my opinion.
Today's honest discussion is about UFC 177. That's right, the one going on this Saturday in Sacramento.
Well, now that you mention it, no, there will be no rematch between Jon Jones and Alexander Gustafsson. They scuttled that. Nope, no Demetrious Johnson vs. Chris Cariaso, either. They moved that to UFC 178. I know, I've seen those ads, too. They just haven't replaced the old, outdated version. I'm not sure why.
There is still a title fight on the docket. It's a rematch of Renan Barao and T.J. Dillashaw for the bantamweight belt. Dillashaw knocked him out in their first match. That was three months ago.
Here's the bottom line: I'm not saying don't order UFC 177. I'm not saying don't watch it, I'm not saying don't enjoy it. I'm just saying don't expect it to be something that it's not, and what it's not is a top-quality fight card. You have a right to understand that. And you know what else? You don't have to watch this, if you don't want to.
Be gimlet-eyed on this one. That's all I'm suggesting. Sometimes in life, you can make chicken salad out of chicken, you know, leavings. And sometimes you just end up eating leavings.
I'm glad we had this talk. Of course, now there will be five knockouts and five submissions and everyone will come back here and tell me we never should have had this talk. But that won't change the fact that this pay-per-view card held a notable lack of elite-ness. And you have a right to know that. I'm a public serviceman, after all. A warrior for the truth, if I may. And I wouldn't be doing my part if I didn't inform you of the options.
To help you make an even more informed decision, here is a full guide to the 10-fight slate, including information capsules, predictions and viewing coordinates for each and every bout. Thanks again for coming in.