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Bob Costas Throws Twice After Royally Botching First Pitch at Cardinals Game

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You know what’s a real indication of the decline of Western civilization? Bob Costas double-dipping at the first-pitch altar.

The longtime NBC Sports personality stepped up to deliver the honorary toss before Tuesday night’s St. Louis Cardinals game and ended up doubling down.

Costas—a juvenile delinquent in the offseason—tried for the corner and missed on his first offering.

Most teams would’ve closed the book on Kellner at this point, but Costas begged for another go, despite screaming objections from the Cardinals booth.

“No! You can’t get another one!” they yelled. “You got a game!”

Costas got another one, because he’s Bob Costas and your rules do not apply to him.

The broadcaster’s second pitch zipped in over the plate, absolving NBC’s finest of his earlier sin and setting a new precedent for errant celebrity pitches.

The rules are dead. They no longer exist.

By allowing Costas a second throw, the Cardinals have opened a door that may never be closed. They've fed the first-pitch gremlins after midnight. Now 50 Cent, Carly Rae Jepsen and Mariah Carey will come slithering back to the ballpark, scratching for do-overs and pockmarking the diamond. Anarchy will reign.

Let’s hope this doesn’t become a trend. Do-overs go against everything the sporting world and Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” hold dear.

Costas may be an icon, but we can’t just be kicking in convention to assuage bruised egos. Baseball's arbitrary rules are America's arbitrary rules, and as Costas himself recognizes, the social fabric of Western civilization depends on them.

 

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