Erin Andrews' Greatest Hits
Men love Erin Andrews.
She has this quality about her that makes you feel like she's just one of the guys, except that she's super hot and you've secretly been in love with her for years now.
Recently, some lowlife decided to take a video of Erin when she was naked through a peephole and post it on the internet. Out of respect for her, please do not try to post the video or links to the video in the comments section.
Here we honor Erin Andrews by taking a look at her Greatest Hits and hope that she is able to get past this and get back to bringing us our sports by the best sideline reporter ESPN has to offer.
No. 12: Florida Gators Dazzler
What many people may not know is that Erin was a "Dazzler" at her time in Florida. To some, this may be a hit to her legacy.
A big part of Erin's appeal is that she is what I like to call "attainable hot." She's hot, but what makes her even hotter is the ability to make guys think, "I have a shot with her."
But for any guy who has been to college, they would know that girls on the dance team were not the most "attainable."
Ah, who cares? I'm going to pull a Mark McGwire here and say that I'm not here to talk about the past.
No. 11: Gets Scolded By Tom Izzo
How can you be mad at Erin Andrews?
In a Michigan State-Ohio State game, she approaches Tom Izzo with a joke at halftime, to which he quickly responds, "That's not funny."
But then he looks up, remembers that he's talking to Erin Andrews, and gives a little smile and loosens up.
Give the woman credit for following with a serious question. That's just good journalism there. No, I'm not biased.
No. 10: Goes Ice Fishing with Brent Musburger and Steve Lavin
Even when she's bundled up in a huge winter jacket, Erin Andrews can still tug at our heartstrings like she did when she drilled into the ice.
This is also probably the least interesting scenario that I could think of using the words "Erin Andrews" and "drilled" in the same sentence.
No. 9: Trips at Games
Women try so hard to be flawless for men, but to be honest, we like our women a little bit flawed.
Erin Andrews has been known to lose her footing a few times (like in front of the Maryland student section or at a South Carolina football game), but she just ends up being even more loved for it.
It's all part of being attainable hot. Guys know that they aren't the most perfect animals on the face of the planet, so when a girl stumbles like that, it makes them feel better, like she's not so much better than them.
No. 8: Gets Mad on TV
When you are Erin Andrews, and you work at certain college sporting events, you are bound to run across fans that are under the influence of alcohol. Erin does a fantastic job of handling them.
However, it can't all be smiles and laughs. When the camera isn't rolling (or at least she thinks it isn't), Erin has been caught giving somebody the stink eye.
I know I wouldn't want to be on the wrong end of that look, but from here, I admit...it was kind of hot. This woman can do no wrong!
No. 7: EA Sports Cover Girl
Somewhere along the way, executives realized that they had a goldmine on their hands with Erin.
EA Sports quickly made her the face of their college sports franchises. They figured that teenage boys who bought video games would be more likely to buy games featuring Erin. They were correct.
I may or may not have Erin Andrews presents: Speed Chess in my game library. It's totally for the chess.
No. 6: Campaigning to Be on Dancing With the Stars
Erin Andrews wants to be on Dancing With the Stars, and I say, "Why hasn't this happened already?"
We have far too few pictures and videos of her in revealing dresses and moving that body like we all have the sneaking suspicion that she's able to.
That might be the only time it's acceptable for men to watch DWTS.
No. 5: Getting Made Fun of for Ducking Foul Balls
On more than one occasion, Erin has gotten teased by the on-air talent for ducking out of the way of a foul ball. She always has the grace and poise to laugh it off and not let it bother her.
But man, Joe Morgan and Jon Miller must be feeling like jerks now that she actually got hit by a foul ball. If anything bad had happened to her this weekend, I would have been beating down their doors, blaming them for this.
Erin, you can duck as many foul balls as you want. Even the ones on the other side of the field. You just can't be too careful.
No. 4: Getting Hit With a Foul Ball
Speaking of foul balls...
This was a national tragedy that was barely averted. Erin bravely took a foul ball to the chin but lived to tell about it.
The sporting world held their breath, waiting to hear of news that she was okay. We couldn't afford to lose Michael Jackson and Erin Andrews this close together.
Thankfully she is okay and will be back to giving us the best sideline reports that are possible soon enough.
No. 3: Danced on By USC Player
Erin Andrews just seems to have things happen to her because she is Erin Andrews.
At a USC game, she was just standing there, minding her own business, when a brave USC player decided to have an impromptu dance with Erin before walking into the tunnel.
Part of me wants to call that guy a hero. But part of me wants to go, "Hey! You show Erin Andrews some respect!"
Ah, who am I kidding? I'm jealous of that guy.
No. 2: Named Playboy's Sexiest Sportscaster
Scott Van Pelt ran a close second.
Seriously though, this had to be the biggest slam dunk decision since I decided to not go see He's Just Not That Into You.
Anytime you can be honored by Playboy and not take your clothes off (or anything close) has got to be a victory. Part of Erin's greatness is the mystery. We don't know what's under there, we can only guess.
No. 1: Gets Awkwardly Assaulted By Bruce Pearl
What I love most about this moment is that you can see the love in Bruce Pearl's eyes.
When he says "Hold him," then looks at Erin for just a beat too long, you knew he was thinking "I want to hold you," then he goes ahead and actually does it!
Erin is the best though. After it happens, she doesn't just ignore it and keep going. She is clearly trying hard not to laugh.
That's what we want to see. It's no fun to see you pretend like it didn't happen. Embrace the weirdness of it, and we will love you for it.
Bless you, Erin Andrews, for being you.