MLB All-Stars as Pokemon

Baseball and Pokemon are pretty similar.

There are baseball cards and Pokemon cards.

All ballplayers want to win the World Series.

All Pokemon trainers want to become Pokemon masters, which is kind of the same.

How can Pokemon improve the all-star game?

Well, you could play your Gameboy instead of watching the Home Run Derby. You could also read a nostalgic slideshow on what many MLB all-stars would be if the became Pokemon, or something.

Thanks to Heartbeat of the Bronx's "Bronx Zoo" article, which gave me the idea to write this.

Ash Ketchum: Joe Maddon

To defeat the Elite Four, Ash must go through eight gym leaders. Ash leads a group of Pokemon that can beat just about anyone.

In order to establish American League dominance, Maddon must defeat the National League for the eighth year in a row.

Maddon leads a group of players who can beat just about anyone.

National League: Team Rocket

Team Rocket is a group of Pokemon thieves who have been powerful for a very long time. That has changed due to Jesse and James' failure to steal Ash's Pikachu.

Due to weak Pokemon used to rival Ash, Team Rocket fails in every episode.

The National League has been powerful for a very long time, winning most of the all-star games. That has changed due to their recent inability to win.

Due to inferior talent used to rival the American League, the NL fails in every recent all-star game.

#1 Bulbasaur: Adam Jones

Bulbasaur is a good Pokemon for an inexperienced trainer. Starting out with quick attacks, Bulbasaur eventually evolves into a Venusaur, a much more powerful Pokemon.

Adam Jones is a good player for an inexperienced team. Starting out as a quick player, Jones will eventually evolve into a superstar with much more power.

#6 Charizard: Mariano Rivera

Charizard may be the most powerful Pokemon out there. For a long time, the flamethrower has been arguably the most unbeatable Pokemon.

Rivera may be the most powerful pitcher out there. For a long time, the flamethrower has been arguably the most unhittable pitcher.

#9 Blastoise: Yadier Molina

Blastoise is a great defensive Pokemon with two cannons on its back.

Molina is a great defensive catcher with a cannon for an arm.

#11 Metapod: Andrew Bailey

Why would anyone want Metapod as a Pokemon?

His attacks are mediocre and his only use is evolving into a Butterfree.

Why would you want Andrew Bailey on the all-star team?

He's a mediocre pitcher, and his only use is in representing the A's.

#16 Pidgey: Dustin Pedroia

Pidgey is 1' tall with an annoying squawking noise. Nonetheless, Pidgey is a scrappy Pokemon with the attacks to get better.

Pedroia is a bit taller with an annoying squawking noise. Nonetheless, Pedroia is a scrappy player with the tools to become a superstar.

#25 Pikachu: Derek Jeter

Pikachu is the most popular Pokemon of all, with the most cards sold.

Pikachu is the face of Pokemon.

Pikachu is loyal and has stuck with Ash through the good times and the bad.

Jeter is the most popular player of all, with the most all-star votes.

Jeter is the face of baseball.

Jeter is loyal and has stuck with the Yankees through the good times and the bad.

#34 Nidoking: Ryan Howard

Nidoking is one of Giovanni's Pokemon, but doesn't deserve to be. Once you get past his limited poison attacks, Nidoking isn't very effective.

Howard is an NL all-star, but barely deserves to be one. Once you get past his home run hitting ability, Howard isn't very effective.

#51 Dugtrio: Roy Halladay

Dugtrio likes to keep everything on the ground. Dugtrio is a very powerful ground Pokemon.

But once Dugtrio's opponent uses the "fly" attack, it's difficult for Dugtrio to win.

Halladay likes to keep everything on the ground. He is a very powerful ground-ball pitcher.

But once Halladay's opponents hit flyballs, it's difficult for Halladay to win.

#68 Machamp: Josh Hamilton

Machamp is a fighter. Recovering from the adversity of weaker stages of Machop and Machoke, Machamp may be the strongest Pokemon out there.

Hamilton is a fighter. Recovering from the adversity of weaker stages of drug addiction, Hamilton may be the strongest hitter out there.

#78 Rapidash: Ichiro Suzuki

Not much to say here except that both Rapidash and Ichiro are really fast.

In Ichiro's native homeland, it's an honor to be compared to a Pokemon like Rapidash.

#79 Slowpoke: Tim Wakefield

Just like how Ichiro is fast, Wakefield is very slow.

However, as a psychic Pokemon, Slowpoke has some very effective attacks.

As a very smart pitcher, Wakefield has an extremely effective knuckleball.

#90 Shelder: Jonathan Papelbon

Shelder is a bit of a trash talker, always with his tongue out. But a Slowpoke can evolve if a Shelder bites its tail, making a very effective duo.

Papelbon is a bit of a trash talker, always baiting his opponent. But Papelbon can close a game for Wakefield, making a very effective duo.

#92 Gastly: Tim Lincecum

Gastly is more than meets the eye.

As a ghost Pokemon, Gastly always brings the gas. The only way to defeat a ghost Pokemon, like Gastly, is to simply try everything and get lucky.

Lincecum is more than meets the eye.

As an ace, Lincecum always brings the gas. The only way to defeat a pitcher, like Lincecum, is to simply try everything and get lucky.

#103 Exeggutor: Carlos Beltran, Francisco Rodriguez, Johan Santana, and David Wright

Exeggutor is a Pokemon with many heads that pull in different directions.

It's a large Pokemon with great potential, but its dimwittedness leads many to believe Exeggcute would have been better off not evolving.

The Mets are a team with many heads that pull in different directions.

They have a large payroll and great potential, but their dimwittedness leads many to believe that the Mets would have been better off not spending all that money.

#107 Hitmonchan: Hanley Ramirez

Hitmonchan is a duel threat. A very quick Pokemon, Hitmonchan also packs a very powerful punch.

Ramirez is a duel threat. A very quick base runner, Ramirez is also a great power hitter.

#129 Magicarp: Freddy Sanchez

In an ancient time, Magicarp was a strong Pokemon.

But after years of wearing down, Magicarp is now weak. People with a Magicarp usually keep them in hopes that they'll evolve into a much stronger Gyarados.

Three years ago, Sanchez was the NL batting champ.

But after three years of wearing down, Sanchez is now weak. The Pirates have kept Sanchez in hopes that he'll go back to being a strong hitter.

#131 Lapras: Albert Pujols

Lapras is a soft-spoken hero. Experienced around the waters, Lapras can transport you to anywhere in the Pokemon world.

Pujols is a soft-spoken hero. Experienced in the playoffs, Pujols can lead your team to a World Championship.

#143 Snorlax: Prince Fielder

Snorlax is the heaviest Pokemon. Most of the time, you can find him sleeping.

But get him angry, and he'll pull no punches.

Fielder is maybe the heaviest player. Most of the tine, you can find him sleeping at first base.

But get him angry, and he'll swing for the fences.

#144-146: Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres: Joe Mauer

The trio of Pokemon make up the legendary birds.

Mauer is so awesome that he's compared to three Pokemon. His triple threat of skills (hitting, defense, and game-calling) compare him to the legends.

#150 Mewtwo: Dan Haren

Mewtwo is the most powerful Pokemon despite not being very strong. He makes everything a mind game by controlling everything around him.

Because of his dominance shown in the first Pokemon movie, Mewtwo is the best Pokemon of them all.

Haren is the most dominant pitcher in the NL despite not having a lot of velocity. He makes everything a mind game by showing amazing control.

Because of his dominance shown in the first half of the season, Haren is the best pitcher in the NL.