Fantasy Football 2014: 1st-Round Mock Draft and Creative Team Names

Chris RolingFeatured ColumnistAugust 20, 2014

New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski grabs a pass during an NFL Football training camp scrimmage of the Patriots and Philadelphia Eagles in Foxborough, Mass., Tuesday, Aug. 12, 2014. (AP Photo/Charles Krupa)
Charles Krupa/Associated Press

In the world of fantasy football, the first round is the most important thing—but a great team name is a close second.

A wrong move in the first round can cripple a team beyond repair depending on the severity of the gaffe (such as grabbing a quarterback not named Peyton), but a bad team name is a serious misstep.

A cliche or cringe-worthy name makes a losing season even worse, and a league-winning owner who touts such a name is hard to take seriously. The best owners excel in both areas, so let's take a look at an updated first-round mock based on standard leagues and some more unique names.


Fantasy Football 1st-Round Mock

Pick Player Team Position
1 LeSean McCoyPhiladelphia EaglesRB
2 Jamaal CharlesKansas City ChiefsRB
3 Adrian PetersonMinnesota VikingsRB
4 Matt ForteChicago BearsRB
5 Eddie LacyGreen Bay PackersRB
6 Calvin JohnsonDetroit LionsWR
7 Jimmy GrahamNew Orleans SaintsTE
8 Montee BallDenver BroncosRB
9 Dez BryantDallas CowboysWR
10 Demaryius ThomasDenver BroncosWR
11 Peyton ManningDenver BroncosQB
12 Marshawn LynchSeattle SeahawksRB


Fresh Team Names

Turn Down for Watt?

HOUSTON, TX - DECEMBER 22:  J.J. Watt #99 of the Houston Texans enters the field before the game against the Denver Broncos at Reliant Stadium on December 22, 2013 in Houston, Texas.  (Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images)
Scott Halleran/Getty Images

Humor and a sense of cultural awareness each play a role in any great team name.

For this one, owners get the best of both worlds. J.J. Watt's name is butchered to mesh with a recent hit song that, to be kind, is funny in a strange sort of way.

It matters little that Watt is a defender. IDP leagues are sweeping the globe in the same way point-per-reception and dynasty leagues are. Even if used in a standard league, the name holds weight because Watt has quickly become one of the most recognizable names in football.

Just 25 years old, Watt is the most terrifying defender in the league at the moment. Watt is the owner of 32 sacks in the past two seasons alone, and the use of his name suggests that a relentless owner sits behind the screen, which parallels the strange song's theme in a way too.


Dumb and Dumervil

Patrick Semansky/Associated Press

One of the best movies in history is getting a sequel, so it is only right that the world of fantasy football honors the occasion this season.

Luckily for owners, one Elvis Dumervil is here to help in the pursuit of a creative moniker.

Fans can be forgiven for letting Dumervil slip the mind. He joined the Baltimore Ravens last year and had a rather quiet season by his standards, which means just 9.5 sacks.

It is easy to gloss over the fact that he ranked as the No. 3 overall outside linebacker last season, per Pro Football Focus (subscription required). Like Jim Carrey, Dumervil's talent is not going anywhere.


Tickle Me Al-Mo

Jul 24, 2014; Richmond, VA, USA; Washington Redskins running back Alfred Morris (46) carries the ball during practice on day one of training camp at Bon Secours Washington Redskins Training Center. Mandatory Credit: Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

There was a time when Tickle Me Elmo was the biggest craze in the nation.

The same can be said for Washington running back Alfred Morris. Over the course of his first two seasons in the league, the Florida Atlantic product posted elite numbers:


Since, though, owners have become a bit shy, most likely because of new head coach Jay Gruden. As a result, Morris has an average draft position of 2.10. That places him outside the top 10, and wild cards such as Arian Foster, Le'Veon Bell and DeMarco Murray come off the board first.


When an owner sees an adversary draft Morris, he or she simply smirks because of the backfire potential. 

Then again, the joke could just as easily turn out to be on them. It's hard to say how this is akin to owning a Tickle Me Elmo, so just understand that Morris is a great value given his current slotting.


The Big Gronkowski

Elise Amendola/Associated Press

Why not honor a classic movie too?

Rob Gronkowski is a fantasy monster with no equal at his position. Over the course of the last few years, he has even blown New Orleans' Jimmy Graham out of the water on a per-game basis. The numbers do the talking:

Year G Rec Yds TD

The obvious issue is his injury track record, but that has become less and less of a problem as this preseason has worn on toward the regular 16-game slate.

"Definitely a step forward with participating more and more," Gronkowski said, per's Mike Reiss. "It's doing well so far, no setbacks or anything. ... I'm having a blast competing back out there."

Look, with an ADP of 3.05, Gronkowski is quite literally the best fantasy gamble this season. Last year, Graham outscored all but five running backs, and we know his rival in New England can do better. If an owner can grab Gronkowski in the third round after going RB-RB or RB-WR, it is a nearly impossible standard team to beat.

Oh, and the intertwined team name falls under the same classification.


All average draft positions courtesy of All scoring info courtesy of ESPN standard leagues. Statistics courtesy of ESPN.


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