Hey, did you know that July was National Blog Posting Month? The only trouble is that apparently to properly commemorate National Blog Posting Month, you’re supposed to post to your blog every day of the month.
Well, it’s too late for that, so I thought I would do a month’s worth of postings right now. Hey, if Pat Sajak and Drew Carey can tape a month of game shows in a few days and then spend the rest of the month filling in for Regis, I figure I can attempt the same sort of accelerated work schedule. (Although I may have some trouble with the filling in for Regis part, unless Sajak or Bernadette Peters gets sick and they get very, very desperate.)
July 1: Have you heard about this new United Football League starting up in October 2009? If not, I’m not surprised. Unlike previous failed attempts to start up competing football leagues (remember the XFL?) , this one seems like it’s not even trying to succeed. They will play games during the regular football season, guaranteeing them that football fans will be too busy watching the NFL or college to care. And they only have four teams!? Four teams?! Not much excitement in that schedule: “Well, let’s see. We play New York, then Orlando. Then we take on New York and then it’s Orlando again . . .” I think the body of Karl Malden keeps a more interesting schedule than that.
July2: One thing I do like about the UFL: The head coaches. We’re talking NFL rejects Dennis Green, Ted Cottrell, Jim Hastlett, and Jim Fassel. Hey, when this UFL thing folds about five days after it starts, can VH1 sign these guys up as potential suitors on Daisy of Love?
July 3: July 3 is my wife’s birthday. How did I celebrate my wife’s birthday? By renewing my DirecTV NFL Sunday Ticket package after I promised her I was going to cancel it. Sorry, ladies, I’m off the market.
July 4: Our nation’s birthday. Too busy listening to Lee Greenwood to blog.
July 5: Dr. James Andrews, who repaired Brett Favre’s torn biceps tendon, tells the media that Favre “wants to play and he wants to play for the Minnesota Vikings.” Favre’s eventual signing with the Vikings is now officially the most sure-fire sure thing in sports since the last time Favre came out of retirement.
July 6: It is reported that Favre and his wife have put a down payment on a condo in the Minneapolis suburb of Edina and that the Vikings will force single-game ticket buyers of the Viking/Packer tilt to also buy Vikings/Chiefs preseason game tickets, which would ordinarily have the same street value of tickets to a Bonnie Hunt Show taping. Wait, and Favre’s signing is still not official?
July 7: Brewers GM Doug Melvin publicly rips into Ryan Braun for his recent comments. Later that day, the Brewers lose to St. Louis 5-0. Let’s see: zero runs, but it’s the pitching that’s the problem. Got it.
July 8: Police confirm that the death of Steve McNair and girlfriend Sahel Kazemiwas a murder-suicide. Among the recent crop of deaths from Michael Jackson to Billy Mays to Farrah Fawcett, McNair’s is undoubtedly the most disturbing celebrity death of all.
July 9: Realize I’ve forgotten to mention that the Milwaukee Bucks majorly screwed up by losing Charlie Villanueva to the Detroit Pistons. But reporting that the Bucks have made a personnel move is like reporting that Eddie Murphy has made a bad movie. Just sort of loses its excitement after the hundredth time.
July 10: The Brewers lose 12-8 to the Los Angeles Dodgers after surrendering six runs in the tenth inning. Huh, maybe Ryan Braun was actually on to something . . .
July 11: A day after the bullpen melts down against LA, it then holds the Dodgers scoreless over four innings to secure a 6-3 win for Milwaukee. Wait, I get it, it’s Carlos Villanueva. He’s the problem. OK. Glad we figured that out.
July 12: Oh, the Tour de France is on. I was going to watch it, but TV Land has a Hogan’s Heroes marathon on. The decision which to watch? Not even close.
July 13: We’re at the MLB All-Star break. Here’s what I think about the midseason classic (no, not that BS Survivor clip show they run every cycle), spread out over several days of thought: One, let the fans vote. Period. I know that fans are generally going to be biased and uninformed, but who cares? It’s the fans’ game.
July 14: Related to giving the vote entirely to the fans, let’s drop this crap about the game meaning who gets home field advantage in October. It’s utterly ridiculous that the question of whether game one of the World Series is played in Los Angeles or Boston should be resting on the shoulders of the Royals' representative batting in the bottom of the ninth. It’s an exhibition game and it should be devoid of any meaning apart from its inherent entertainment value. Like America’s Funniest Home Videos.
July 15: If MLB insists on the All-Star Game counting for anything, then you have to let the managers manage the game like they would a real game. Which would mean a lot of players not getting in the game and a lot of guys complaining about having their time wasted. And then there’s a myriad of situations with the pitching if the game is to be played like a real game. It’s just not worth the hassle.
July 16: I know it’s summer, but some kids aren’t allowed to stay up as late as they want in July any more than they are in October. Can’t we start the All-Star game — a game which I believe appeals more to young fans than anyone else — at a reasonable time, like 6 PM Central? I know that presents difficulties with TV coverage, so why not have it on Sunday, with the All-Star break being Saturday-Monday instead of Monday-Wednesday? I mean, the NFL and NBA All-Star games may be the most meaningless games on the planet, but at least the leagues know enough to schedule them on the weekend.
July 17: Speaking of the All-Star Game, shouldn’t All-Star Game announcer Joe Buck have been banned from television after that disasterous HBO show of his? That was the worst thing HBO has aired since D.C. Cab.
July 18: Time to look back on my preseason baseball predictions to see how I’m doing at the All-Star break. Let’s do a division a day: I picked the Cubs to win the NL Central with the Cardinals as a team that could surprise. Thanks largely to injuries — pitcher Ryan Dempster and catcher Geovany Soto being the latest casualties — the Cubs are in third place. Looks like my team to surprise — the Cardinals — now have the inside track. The Brewers? They can do a lot of things OK, but seemingly little very well. I just don’t see it.
July 19: I picked the Phillies to repeat in the NL East and they’ve currently got a four-game lead. Although their pitching stinks, I don’t see any other team in the division as a threat. I feel good about this pick.
July 20: In the biggest no-brainer of the divisional picks, I went with the Dodgers. They’ve currently got the best record in baseball. But the Giants are a good story.
July 21: I picked the Cleveland Indians to win the AL Central. The same Indians that currently have the second-worst record in baseball. I should probably have my sports blogger license taken away from me for that one. I like my “surprise” team, the Tigers, to pull away with this one in the second half.
July 22: In the toughest division in baseball, I went with the Red Sox to take the AL East. But with the Yankees lurking at only two games back, I’m not ready to call this one yet by a long shot.
July 23: I went with the Angels, who lead the division by only 1/2 game over the Texas Rangers, who somehow are 10 games over .500 despite my thinking that they had been contracted several years ago. I think the Angels will finish it off.
July 24: I picked Boston over Philadelphia in the World Series. It was a boring pick then, and it’s a boring pick now. But it still seems logical, a heck of a lot more logical than say the CBS series Harper’s Island. I’ll stick with it.
July 25: With training camp a week away, the Detroit Lions will have been mathematically eliminated from the 2009 NFL postseason. Hey, if Matthew Stafford wins one game, he’s taken his team to another level. I don’t think a number one pick overall has ever faced less pressure.
July 26: It’s Bratwurst bobble head day at Miller Park. A bobble head devoted to a sausage? Nothing like furthering those stereotypes about Wisconsinites. (But seriously, if you’re going, let me know. I can trade you a Barrel Man bobble head.)
July 27: My wedding anniversary. A reminder to self to spend more on my wife than I spent on the NFL Sunday Ticket package. (See July 3 entry.)
July 28: Why couldn’t they have made February National Blog Posting Month?
July 29: It’s the MLS All-Star Game! Woo-hoo! Wait, that “S” stands for “Soccer”? Oh, forget it . . .
July 30: Brett Favre spotted at White Castle in St. Paul. An official signing announcement is expected anyday now . . .
July 31: Trade deadline in baseball. Will Ryan Braun get the pitching help he asked for? Methinks Braun will experience the same crushing disappointment I experienced on Christmas of 1981 when I expected that Atari 2600 and got a “Quiz Wiz” instead.