Satire logoSatire

Confessions of a Wayward Writer

Brian GaylordCorrespondent IMay 6, 2008

I know I should have confessed sooner but I'm here to confess that I've made mistakes in my life for which I'm sorry. I feel it's important to come clean on this issue.


Though by far not my worst mistake, I once misused the word “compliment" when I meant to use the word “complement."


In my wilder youth I was reckless with punctuation and ran on with the long, crowded sentence. In an already uptight world I've created tense problems.


I've been too flowery at times and there was a time when I thought adjectives were my best friend. I was younger then and more foolish. I've since learned to pick my friends more carefully. I ask for your forgiveness.


I've used coffee and chocolate while writing but I've never used semantics to explain away sexual relations with underage country girl singers. That I've never had sexual relations with underage country girl singers is beside the point. It’s important to confess. 


I've apologized to my wife and past editors for my mistakes, and having offered this apology to the public, I ask that you leave my wife and me alone and respect our privacy.

Where can I comment?

Stay on your game

Latest news, insights, and forecasts on your teams across leagues.

Choose Teams
Get it on the App StoreGet it on Google Play

Real-time news for your teams right on your mobile device.

Copyright © 2017 Bleacher Report, Inc. Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. All Rights Reserved. is part of Bleacher Report – Turner Sports Network, part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Network. Certain photos copyright © 2017 Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Getty Images is strictly prohibited. AdChoices