I know I should have confessed sooner but I'm here to confess that I've made mistakes in my life for which I'm sorry. I feel it's important to come clean on this issue.
Though by far not my worst mistake, I once misused the word “compliment" when I meant to use the word “complement."
In my wilder youth I was reckless with punctuation and ran on with the long, crowded sentence. In an already uptight world I've created tense problems.
I've been too flowery at times and there was a time when I thought adjectives were my best friend. I was younger then and more foolish. I've since learned to pick my friends more carefully. I ask for your forgiveness.
I've used coffee and chocolate while writing but I've never used semantics to explain away sexual relations with underage country girl singers. That I've never had sexual relations with underage country girl singers is beside the point. It’s important to confess.
I've apologized to my wife and past editors for my mistakes, and having offered this apology to the public, I ask that you leave my wife and me alone and respect our privacy.