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To begin, here's a look at how the remaining six of the 12 roster spots—most of the bench, save for sixth man—would look.
Consider this one of those situations where riding the pine is kind of, sort of flattering...but not really.
Backup PG: Brian Roberts, Charlotte Hornets
It says a whole lot about the NBA's point guard depth that Brian Roberts is here. But hey, every team, imaginary or not, needs a backup point man.
His two-year, $5.5 million deal isn't atrocious by any means, but for a team that's now housing Kemba Walker, Gary Neal, Lance Stephenson and Jannero Pargo, and for a guy still so unproven, it's a (very) slight overpay.
Backup SG/SF: P.J. Tucker, Phoenix Suns
This is one of those deals that flew under the radar.
Three years and $16.5 million is a lot for P.J. Tucker. A whole lot. He'll grab rebounds and play some defense, but his shooting and scoring are not guaranteed.
Backup SG: Ben Gordon, Orlando Magic
That any team, let alone a rebuilding squad like the Magic, is still paying Ben Gordon to play basketball should come as astonishing.
That the Magic thought he was worth two years and $9 million is somewhat sickening.
Backup SF: Gordon Hayward, Utah Jazz
If it had been the Hornets who landed Gordon Hayward, he would be in the starting lineup. The Jazz get some leeway here because they're one of a few teams that must overpay to retain sound talent.
Really, they had no choice other than to pay him $63 million over the next four years. But that doesn't mean Hayward, at this moment, is worth it. Because he's not.
Backup PF: Trevor Booker, Utah Jazz
It doesn't matter that the second year of Trevor Booker's two-year, $10 million deal isn't guaranteed. It doesn't matter that the Jazz have to overpay for most talent.
Booker will be earning more than double his 2013-14 salary (just under $2.4 million), and he will also be the fourth-highest paid player on Utah's roster, even though he's their fourth-best big at best.
That is not OK.
Backup C: Jordan Hill, Los Angeles Lakers
Although the Lakers hold a team option for the second year of Jordan Hill's two-year, $18 million contract, his deal looks less nothing-to-see-here knowing they also have Carlos Boozer, Julius Randle and Ed Davis. That this is basically an expiring contract helps, but only a little bit.
Hill is, without question, being overpaid.