Are we not going to talk about it?
Must we sit here and ignore the wolf at the door? Are we not going to recognize the epidemic evaporating the saliva from our very tongues?
Are we not going to talk about thirst?
I believe we must, for as much we like to treat it like the bogeyman, the thirst is very real, and one in two people will be afflicted with the scourge at some point in their lives.
Unlike normal dehydration, this brand of drought is brought on by the sight of an attractive human being. Thirst consumes its victims in seconds, leaving them to wither on a desert island of unrequited lust. It happens to most of us, but some cases are more dire than others.
Legions of humanity suffer from acute, Rihanna-related thirst. Some of these people are athletes.
These are the sports figures suffering from chronic thirst. You'll find them here in their natural habitats: the driest, most dehydrated situations on Earth.