The real winners in fantasy football are those who dream up the best team names.
Kudos to those savvy enough to win fantasy leagues. Congratulations and all, but why diminish a title belt after a hard-fought season with a generic team name? Why not win in both areas?
As for those who do not win leagues, at least win in the name department. The NFL offseason has been crazy on and off the field, which means there are ample opportunities to come up with great names that are both trendy and fun.
Below, let's list out some of the best fresh team names to work with this season so owners can actually focus on the strategy behind the game.
Clowney Question, Bro
Let's begin with a name that actually hails from a great MLB moment, courtesy of one Bryce Harper:
Thanks to the arrival of No. 1 overall pick Jadeveon Clowney, fantasy owners can finally bust out a name that has to do with the infamous clown question. Even better, this one is not necessarily restricted to formats that include defensive players, either. Like Clowney himself, the name is versatile and will catch others off guard if they are not careful.
It has a short shelf life for this season only, sure, but owners will get bonus points for mashing two pro sports together for a sleek name.
Look, this one applied last year as well, but the shelf life gets an extra year of relevance thanks to the factors around Oakland Raiders quarterback Matt Schaub.
In short, Schaub is older in style at the age of 33 and is certainly beat up, much akin to that one song that was entirely too popular for too long that showcased older clothes. Last season in Houston, he played in just 10 games and tossed 10 touchdowns to 14 interceptions, the former being his lowest tally since 2007.
Even better—Schaub was then shipped to Oakland for dirt cheap, otherwise known as a sixth-round pick.
"A fresh start can do a lot of things for a player and a team and I'm one of those guys," Schaub said, per ESPN's Adam Schefter. "Last year did not go as I had planned, given my prior nine years before that. I'm looking for a fresh start, I'm excited for the opportunity here."
We'll see. There is an outside chance Schaub once again breathes an extension into this name.
What Would Jones-Drew?
It is one heck of a great question.
In the past, fans knew the answer. The owner of more than 1,300 rushing yards in three straight seasons, Maurice Jones-Drew careened off a cliff and doesn't even hit that mark when one adds up his output the past two seasons.
Even so, the question has never been more appropriate now that MJD resides in Oakland, where Darren McFadden has been the lead back since 2008. Both have had health issues in the past few seasons, so it is a rather perplexing situation.
Those brave enough to pick up MJD might as well roll with the name and hope for the best.
Henne Given Sunday
Classic reference, but it makes a load of sense when one looks at the player put into it.
Last year, Chad Henne actually scored nine games in double figures, but owners had to pull out their hair to figure out when he would do it. The lone exception was Weeks 13-17, when he scored the 12th-most fantasy points at the position and hit double figures in each game.
He pulled his act together, sure, but the problem is rather simple—No. 3 overall pick Blake Bortles is in town, and nobody can predict when he will grab the starting gig, if ever.
Henne is a major risk for this reason, but the allure is obvious. Owners who believe they can win no matter who they face get bonus points.
Better Call Montee Ball
Few things are better than a Breaking Bad reference.
Knowshon Moreno was the starter last season and wound up as the fifth-highest scorer at the position, highlighted by four games in which he rumbled for more than 20 points and 11 in which he breached double figures.
We are a long way from knowing whether or not Ball can replicate these numbers, but he is certainly worth the gamble. The nod to a popular show and situational awareness that will already work wonders in fantasy drafts are the marks of a fake-football disciple.
Drake's New Favorite Team
In short, an owner who picks this name is essentially telling the rest of the league to not even bother this season.
For those out of the loop, there is a stigma around the rapper Drake that he is a bit of a bandwagon fan. Of course, he denies this, per Complex's Lauren Nostro and Frazier Tharpe:
Well, first of all, I'd like to say that despite what everyone on the Internet thinks, I do not team jump. In the past I've always supported the player and not the institution—unless we're talking about the Kentucky Wildcats and the Toronto Raptors; I will never stray from them. But whether it comes to soccer or football or basketball, I have a lot of friends that play for a lot of teams. I'm not team jumping. I'm a supportive friend.
He then goes on to admit that he will attend Cleveland Cavaliers games and perhaps buy property there.
Drake gets a mulligan for supporting the Toronto Raptors, but as Jonathan Lehman of the New York Post breaks down, the guy was seen in the Kentucky Wildcats' locker room at the Final Four, follows Johnny Manziel around, supports the Seattle Seahawks and likes soccer clubs like Manchester United, Manchester City and Liverpool.
So if Drake likes an owner's team before the season, that is pretty great news. Just be sure to back up the confidence with a triumph over the rest of the league.