The 2014 fantasy football season is approaching fast, and owners are desperate to find the right comedic team name in order to make their friends laugh at the draft.
If fantasy football owners have one thing in order, it’s their priorities.
While some fantasy enthusiasts are focused on rankings and positional tiers, the very best owners are formulating ways to turn current NFL players’ names into hilarious team names. There is an art to the sheer madness.
Here are my favorite names heading into the 2014 season.
Tickle Me Al-Mo
Tickle Me Al-Mo. Alfred Morris. Al-Mo. Do you get it?
While many fantasy prognosticators are claiming that Morris will not live up to his average draft position of 26th overall, according to FantasyFootballCalculator.com, he is the 11th running back being taken and should be a solid pick at the end of the second or beginning of the third round.
After racking up 1,275 yards and seven touchdowns on 276 carries last season, fantasy owners should expect more of the same. If anything, the improved health of quarterback Robert Griffin III should help increase his numbers.
If you draft Morris this year, Tickle Me Al-Mo must be a team-name consideration.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Bortles
You likely won’t draft Jacksonville Jaguars rookie quarterback Blake Bortles. It’s a safe bet that the backup to Chad Henne will not be selected in many drafts, but his unique last name offers fans the opportunity to get creative with a team name.
The best so far: Teenage Mutant Ninja Bortles.
The release of the blockbuster Mutant Teenage Ninja Turtles movie has created a buzz around the brand once again (it became popular in the late 1980s and early '90s), and a whole new generation of fans has been turned on to the classic series.
With the return of TMNT to the mainstream, playing off the movie for a fantasy team name was a great idea, but it wasn’t until Bortles was drafted that all the pieces fell into place. "Bortles" sounds similar enough to "turtles" to make this name work, and everyone will understand the reference.
There are questions about how much playing time the Jacksonville rookie will see this season, but with fantasy owners using him as inspiration for their team names, he will never be too far out of our minds.
You Sankey My Battleship
Remember the board game Battleship? The object was to sink your opponent’s ships and force him or her to yell, “You sank my battleship!”
When the Tennessee Titans drafted Bishop Sankey in the 2014 draft, the connection was instantly made. Behold, You Sankey My Battleship.
Veteran Shonn Greene is listed as the No. 1 back on the team, according to Jim Wyatt of The Tennessean, but there is no doubt that Sankey will play a major role in the offense. Greene is a between-the-tackles runner, and the rookie is more about getting into open space.
Right now, his average fantasy draft position is 46th overall. That’s a bit early for an inexperienced player fighting a veteran for carries. For the owners who do manage to draft him to their team, though, You Sankey My Battleship would be the perfect name.