The 12 Most Annoying Athlete Quirks

Matt King by Senior Analyst Written on July 09, 2009

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WIMBLEDON, ENGLAND - JUNE 22:  Michelle Larcher de Brito of Portugal plays a forehand during the women's singles final match against Klara Zakopalova of Czech Republic on Day One of the Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Championships at the All England Lawn Tennis an
Clive Brunskill/Getty Images

I love sports.

I love the drama, the action, the comedy (intentional or unintentional), the stories, the competition, and the heart.

However, there are some things about sports that annoy me. Little quirks that some athletes have that I feel like I would be better off not having to be exposed to.

I know there have been plenty of quirky characters over the years (Mark Fidrych comes to mind), but I'm focusing on the ones that I either have to deal with now, or have recently.

Here are my most annoying athlete quirks.

Michelle Larcher de Brito's grunts

PARIS - MAY 29:  Michelle Larcher De Brito of Portugal  hits a backhand during the Women's Singles Third Round match against Aravane Rezai of France on day six of the French Open at Roland Garros on May 29, 2009 in Paris, France.  (Photo by Ryan Pierse/Ge

Honestly, Michelle Larcher de Brito is what inspired me to write this piece. Seeing her, excuse me, hearing her play was one of the most annoying things I've ever done.

I have no problem with women grunting when they hit a shot, nor do I have a problem with athletes celebrating after points, but this 16-year-old brat takes it all to another level.

To call what she does grunting is like saying that Steve Perry hums instead of sings. It's excessive and incredibly annoying. Then after she wins a point she flips out like Greg Paulus taking a charge in a 30-point blowout.

Just watch the video below and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Nomar Garciaparra's OCD routine

LOS ANGELES, CA - JULY 26:  Nomar Garciaparra #5 of the Los Angeles Dodgers prepares to bat against the Washington Nationals at Dodger Stadium on July 26, 2008 in Los Angeles, California.  (Photo by Lisa Blumenfeld/Getty Images)

Baseball is a game of repetition. They play 162 games a year, there is bound to be a routine that gets you by.

However, Nomar Garciaparra constantly needs to adjust his batting gloves every time he steps out of the batter's box, and after every pitch.

Just get back in there and hit.

I promise you that in the five seconds since you last fidgeted with your gloves, they haven't become any looser. Just trust me on this one.

LeBron James' powder toss

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We get it, LeBron. You're the King. You are a player unlike any that we have ever seen before.

So why do you need to make such a spectacle before the game? The powder toss? Come on. It's a little much.

And it's even worse because Kevin Garnett has been doing the whole "powder before the game" act way longer than you have.

I know a lot of people love it, but I'm kind of over it.

Sergio Garcia's club waggle

FARMINGDALE, NY - JUNE 17:  Sergio Garcia of Spain plays a shot during the third day of previews to the 109th U.S. Open on the Black Course at Bethpage State Park on June 17, 2009 in Farmingdale, New York.  (Photo by Chris McGrath/Getty Images)

Remember when Sergio Garcia came on the tour and he took forever to hit the ball? He would re-grip about 10 different times and give that little club waggle and you just sat there waiting, trying not to yell "Just hit the ball!"

He's much better now, as you can see by the video below he's sped it up a lot, but I specifically remember the waggle because my brother would mimic it when we would play golf and it took forever because of it.

Ray Lewis' dance routine

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I get pretty annoyed by Ray Lewis and his pre-game dance routine. It's self indulgent and looks like he's having a seizure.

Ray should remember the boy who cried wolf. When he actually has a seizure before a game, nobody will help him because they'll think it's just him getting psyched up to play.

Jason Kidd's free throw kiss

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Look, I have a fiancée and I'm all for showing your affection to somebody, but Jason Kidd blowing a kiss to her before every free throw...dude, way too much.

No, we get it, you love your wife, we just don't need to know about it before every free throw.

If you think about it, you're at work. Focus on work. I don't send a mushy text to my fiancée before I write every article of mine.

Although, I have to admit, I did enjoy his improvisation when they were getting a divorce.

Jake Delhomme's finger licking

CHARLOTTE, NC - JANUARY 10:  Quarterback Jake Delhomme #17 of the Carolina Panthers signals to a teammate while lined up against the Arizona Cardinals defense during the NFC Divisional Playoff Game on January 10, 2009 at Bank of America Stadium in Charlot

If you ever watch Jake Delhomme play, it can be a very frustrating experience as a Panther fan.

What's even more frustrating is watching him lick his fingers about four to five times in between every snap.

I feel like a mother. "Do you know where your fingers have been, Mister? That's right, under your center's butt most of the game. You think about that."

Bill Gramática's kick celebration

TEMPE, AZ - October 20: Kicker Bill Gramatica #7 of the Arizona Cardinals celebrates after kicking the game-winning field goal in overtime against the Dallas Cowboys at Sun Devil Stadium on October 20, 2002 in Tempe, Arizona. The Cardinals won the game 9-

I think it's very important for athletes to realize that they have a certain role, a certain place in sports.

Some are role players, never meant to be stars. Some are rebounders, never meant to be scorers. And some are kickers, never meant to be all that important.

Bill Gramática (and his brother Martín, for that matter), have disregarded this.

After every field goal they would jump up and down like it was the game winner in the Super Bowl, even when in reality it was the middle of the second quarter.

Bill lands on this list because his annoying little quirk actually blew out his ACL when he was jumping up and down after a first half field goal put his team up 3-0.

Rafael Nadal's slow service

PARIS - MAY 31:  Rafael Nadal of Spain serves during the Men's Singles Fourth Round match against Robin Soderling of Sweden on day eight of the French Open at Roland Garros on May 31, 2009 in Paris, France.  (Photo by Ryan Pierse/Getty Images)

I love the way Nadal plays. It's very balls to the wall, full speed, almost wreckless.

I just wish that applied more to the way he served. The man takes forever.

Andy Roddick tries to overwhelm you with power, but Nadal just tries to put you to sleep beforehand.

Hurry up Raf. It gets hot out on those courts. Let's get this thing moving.

Peyton Manning's play changing

INDIANAPOLIS - NOVEMBER 16:  Payton Manning #18 of the Indianapolis Colts calls out a play during the first quarter against the Houston Texans at Lucas Oil Stadium on November 16, 2008 in Indianapolis, Indiana.  (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)

Peyton Manning just can not make up his mind. He changes his plays at the line of scrimmage almost every time. He must just laugh whenever the coach calls a play.

"Haha, oh yeah, got it coach. We're totally running that play."

I would not like to get caught standing behind Manning at a fast food restaurant.

"I'll have a cheeseburger, a large fry, and a diet Coke. No, wait, regular Coke. And a small fry. No, make it a chicken sandwich with onion rings and a Sprite. Wait, large onion rings with a Dr. Pepper and a chicken fajita pita. No, wait..."

Kobe Bryant's game face

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I've mentioned Kobe's scowl before, but really I'm hoping this is just something he brought out for this particular championship run. I don't want to see it anymore.

I'm hoping that he'll break out a more pleasant look now that he's won that elusive fourth championship. Maybe something like a really toothy smile.

What do you say Kobe?

Brett Favre's retirement schtick

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - DECEMBER 28: Brett Favre #4 of The New York Jets leaves the field after losing to The Miami Dolphins 24-17 after their game on December 28, 2008 at Giants Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey. (Photo by Al Bello/Getty Images)

Brett Favre just can't stick with a decision. First he's retired, then he comes back, then he retires again, then he might come back.

The media goes right along with it hook, line, and sinker. Enough! Brett, make up your mind.

Just like when he plays he has to unbutton, then button his chinstrap. Somebody needs to implement a no takesies-backsies policy for Brett.

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written on July 09, 2009 Humor


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