To: The City of Cleveland
From: Irene & Abe Pollin, owners of Washington Wizards, and John "Papa John" Schnatter, owner and founder of Papa John's Pizza
Dear Cleveland:
On behalf of the Washington Wizards, and Papa John's Pizza all around Washington, D.C., we would like to apologize for our stupidity and ignorance in regards to one of your icons, LeBron James.
At the time, we thought we could get inside your boy's head. We thought we could mess him up before the series even started.
Man, were we so wrong?
Instead of knocking him off his game, he stepped it up another notch. He flat out ripped us a new one.
It kind of bites us in the ass to know that we could have traded up for him, but we didn't think that far ahead into the future. Instead, our players will have to sit at home and watch TIVO'd reruns of "The Hills" and “American Idol.”
We would also like to apologize for Mr. Brendan Haywood's immature comments prior to the ending of the series.
Even though it made a great sound bite for the series, we would like to make it known that we do not condone our players turning themselves into inconsiderate third graders.
Know that Mr. Haywood has been placed into timeout and his Playstation 3 was taken away for one week.
I (Papa John) would like to apologize for the creation of the shirt that most likely cursed the Wizards more than doing them some good. The shirt was boring, not thought out, and irresponsible.
Besides, we couldn't even get the team's color on the shirts prior to game time.
Even though the fans won't be as apologetic as we are, just know that I would have loved to give you all free pizzas, but I still have to earn a profit... So I can pay for the shirts, of course.
Hopefully the pizza will be enough to make up for our ignorance.
We (The Pollins) again apologize on behalf of our fans, our team, and our pizza chain. Good luck against Boston in the next round. Hopefully, they don't make the same mistake we did.
And as an added bonus, please accept this coupon for free breadsticks and use it when you order your $0.23 pizza.
With our Humble Apologies,
The Pollins and Papa John's
Comments (6) Add a comment »
from 10 days ago
Everyone I know here in C-Town is looking forward to Thursday's 23 cent pizzas from Papa John's! In terms of free handouts courtesy of DC, I think it's being more well-received here than Bush's tax cut.
Hopefully when the Cavs and Wizards match up in the playoffs next year, some Chipotle in DC will sponsor a shirt too so I can get a 23 cent burrito.
from 10 days ago
This article should not be the top story on Bleacher Report. It was already report on ESPN, and this is just 2 days later the same story.
I understand that Ron Johnson has written over 200 articles, but this article is just stupid and pointless and doesn't related to sports.
Personally, I wouldn't pay 23 cents for a Papa John's pizza because they suck. They tried to market by selling 23 cents pizzas because they needed to increase their sales, and they were able to get a top story on ESPN, so props to them. BUT THEIR PIZZA SUCKS.
Scott, good luck trying to get out of the first round when you have Gilbert Arenas on your team. He is a little child, and I think he deserves a TIME-OUT in the corner. If you are going to make millions of dollars and play for a basketball team, don't be a bitch. If you aren't going to play in a game because an injury, tell your coach, DON'T MAKE HIM READ IT FROM A BLOG
from 10 days ago
Umm, Gilbert Arenas doesn't and never will play for my team. The Cavs have never had a problem getting out of the first round.
from 8 days ago
Uh, Jeff.
Are you having issues. It was a joke! This article was for kicks. It wasn't supposed to be taken seriously. However, you are having issues with this. For starters, this was written the same day as when the story broke. In any event, get a sense of humor, and get over it. This was just a funny letter.
from 7 days ago
wow some dumb letter and 23 cent pizzas i have one word STUPID
from 6 days ago
You got a problem with us poking fun at the egotistical fans of the Wizards as well as the Wizards themselves? Have a coke and a smile.
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