Why Steve McNair Deserves No Sympathy

I have a wealth of respect for what Steve McNair accomplished as an athlete.

No one can take away his obvious football skills, his passion for winning, and his on-field leadership qualities under difficult circumstances.

I have a similar wealth of disdain and a total lack of sympathy for McNair as a husband, a father, and what led to his being murdered.

In light of what has now been revealed by Nashville police, McNair died cheating on his wife, making a decision that will leave his four children without a father and likely believing, as many celebrities and star athletes do, that they are above the laws governing the rest of us.

Sahel Kazemi knew what she was getting into and apparently had no issues dating a married man. Then again, it’s all too often we hear about young girls being wooed by older, mature, wealthier men, who sometimes have a smidgen of celebrity to go along with the rest.

We will never know if McNair was continuously feeding her the classic line about being prepared to leave his wife, if he was honest with her about simply wanting to make the occasional house call, or if flat-out lied about the circumstances surrounding a tryst that began when he was 35 and she was 19.

We also will never know Kazemi’s exact motives for becoming involved with this much older, married man. Completely smitten with his good looks and pro athlete reputation, she may have sought to break up what may or may not have been a marriage on the rocks, or perhaps she just enjoyed the monetary fruits of a relationship that included a Cadillac Escalade sport utility vehicle as a gift.

All of this is speculation, and with both McNair and Kazemi dead, that is for the most part what it will remain.

Of course, we have heard so many eloquent words of heartfelt, genuine pain and sorrow expressed from those who knew McNair as a friend and teammate.  

However, here in a world where celebrities and sports heroes are placed on pedestals and often used as those who could inspire us to greater heights, we too often seek to avoid speaking ill of the deceased—believing that now gone, we should focus on remembering the good things he was and what he left behind. These are the things that will make a difference to those who admire him.

Then let us make a real and honest difference here and now with McNair. Let’s ensure that along with his immense ability on the football field, we tell the truth and hope his legacy will make a difference to young athletes, young men, in ways other than being able to run, catch, and throw.

Cheating on his wife—whom McNair apparently lied to so well, she had no idea he was having an affair nor even thought about divorce—he was killed in his sleep by a distraught and apparently jealous girlfriend.

This was a young woman so emotionally unstable that when fearful McNair was dating another woman, she was able to illegally purchase a 9 mm semiautomatic pistol, indicating the intent to kill; who, according to police, told a friend one day before the murder-suicide that “My life is a ball of s**t and I should end it."

McNair placed himself in that illicit relationship. McNair’s actions put him on that couch. There is no one to blame but McNair, who would be alive today if he honored the woman he married, refused to be a liar and cheat, and actually cared about the welfare of those four sons who will now live without a father.

Sons who will also live forever with the knowledge their father died while ignoring the things in life that truly make a man more of a hero than winning games.

Being a loving husband. Being a good father.

In the end, McNair was neither.

Veteran network sportscaster Ed Berliner can be heard with exclusive interviews and commentary at "Stone Cold Sports," which also features links to sports news of note from all 50 states.

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