G.O.A.T. Debate Finally Resolved!
Since Roger Federer won his record 15th Slam by claiming the Wimbledon title for the sixth time in his career on Sunday, Jul. 5 2009, the world’s media has been quick to anoint him as the greatest tennis player of all-time.
However, the G.O.A.T. debate is still raging on and, until recently, it looked as though there would be no end to it. We at Frankie’s News are therefore very proud to let our readers know this matter has been resolved once and for all.
The well-renowned tennis expert Mr. B. Onkers, a long time friend of Frankie’s News, rang our headquarters this morning to announce the results of his research into the G.O.A.T. debate.
These results are to be broadcasted on all news stations around the world later this evening but, as always, Frankie’s News is the first to have access to this new and fascinating information.
Mr. Onkers provided our publication with the following statement:
"I am pleased to announce that I am ready to share the results of my research with the world. Many have been wondering: who is the greatest? Is it Federer? Is it Laver? Perhaps it is Borg or maybe Sampras? Well, I can reveal that the outcomes of my study indicate that the G.O.A.T is none other than Robin Soderling of Sweden."
"Many of you may be surprised at this outcome. Many of you may even be thinking, 'Who the heck is this Robin Soderling of Sweden? I only know a Borg.'"
"Rest assured, ladies and gentlemen, that my research methods were rigorous and the results are both valid and reliable."
"It is really quite simple. The question of whether Roger Federer is the G.O.A.T. is only queried because of his unflattering head-to-head statistic against Rafael Nadal. Apart from that, it is pretty damn obvious that this guy is top-notch."
"So now you are probably asking yourself: If Roger is not the greatest because Rafa keeps beating him then surely Rafa is the greatest? Surely, the player who beats the greatest must be greater?"
"But no! You would be wrong. What you folks are not taking into account in this G.O.A.T debate is that Rafael Nadal, the king of clay, has now been beaten at Roland Garros. And who achieved this remarkable feat? Answer: Robin Soderling."
"So now I think you see what I am getting at. No other tennis player in the world, including Roger Federer, has ever beaten the king of clay in Paris. In fact, it was deemed impossible."
"Therefore, it follows that if Mr Federer’s claim to being the greatest is obstructed by Mr. Nadal, then the man who beat Mr. Nadal in Paris must be the best."
"I told you it was simple, didn’t I? To be quite honest, I can’t believe that nobody has ever worked this out before."
On hearing this highly convincing piece of evidence, Frankie’s News decided to phone up Mr. Soderling to get his reaction to all of this:
“Wow this is just awesome. It is so cool that I will now be the most famous tennis player to come out of Sweden. It totally makes sense though—I did what everyone was saying was 'impossible' when I beat Rafa in Paris. If making the impossible possible doesn’t make me the greatest, then I don’t know what will.”
At this point the journalist who phoned Mr. Soderling could hear some snickering in the background and asked Mr. Soderling if someone with him thought that the news was a hoax.
“No, no, no. I don’t see how anybody could doubt this piece of research. It’s just Andy (Roddick) who you can hear laughing in the background. He popped over to Sweden for a quick visit so that we could figure out what to do about Roger…no-one beats Andy and Robin more than 30 times out of 32 meetings. Anyway, this news has completely made our day so thanks."
"In fact, I think Andy may be more excited about it than me!"
(At this point a “yippee!” can be heard in the background.)
Roger Federer in Shock Loss to Andy Roddick!
In other news, Roger Federer has suffered a shocking loss at the hands of his arch nemesis, Andy Roddick. The defeat came in the first round of the Hawk-Eye Challenge Tournament.
Roger Federer told one of our journalists:
“Bloody thing. I always said it was useless. I don’t think I’ll be coming back to one of these tournaments; I have enough silverware in my cabinet as it is. Fifteen slams, you know.”
Andy Roddick, on the other hand, was ecstatic about his win.
“I can’t believe it. I am so happy. It takes a lot of skill to use your Hawk-Eye challenges correctly. I think I have now been made the favourite to win this tournament and if I do I’ll be the No. 1 "Hawk-Eyer" in the world. I think Roger is ranked about 200 places below me on this…so yeah, it feels good."