Because people have been sending me countless e-mails, blowing up my Blackberry, stalking my Facebook page, and camping outside my house, I have no choice but to share my secret information with all of Bleacher.

So without further ado, I have the recordings of the last couple of meetings I sat in on with the boss.

For the record let me just state that I really don't understand why so many people are down on Vinny Mac. I'm just not completely convinced that Vince is a terrible boss.

I happen to know first hand that he's a great listener and is very understanding. Hell, he only wants what's best for his company and is constantly changing the way he runs his business to cater to all demographics.

But you people aren't convinced but after reading these next couple of sessions, I'm sure you'll see things my way.

Meeting 1 - Divas

Vince is currently sitting behind his desk with his feet propped up and a huge cigar in his mouth. There's a knock on his door and several voices can be heard outside of it. Vince rolls his eyes and after a few seconds yells for them to enter.

The door swings open and in walks Maryse, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, and Michelle McCool. All of them look angry except Maryse. Then again, it's hard to tell when she's angry.

Vince: *raises his brows* What can I do for you all? And hurry it up. You're ruining my "me" time.

Maryse cuts everyone off by talking loudly in French which earns her quite a few confused looks.

Vince: Wait a sec. What the hell, woman? Speak English! Only English in my presence!

Maryse: *blinks several times then flicks her hair* Mr. McMahon, I cannot take dis eenymore. I am terribly...how you say? Unhappy wit my current role in dis company. I want to do something else.

Vince: *annoyed* You're the Divas champion. What more could you possibly want?

Maryse: *cuts Mickie James a disgusted look* I cannot work wit her. She is making me look bad. Just look at her! She eez fat!

Mickie: *shocked* WHAT?!? HOW DARE YOU! I AM NOT FAT!

Maryse: *grins* I think she eez eating a bit too many of the french fries az you call them here een Emerica.

Vince: *studies Mickie for a few seconds then frowns* You know Maryse, you've got a point. She HAS gained some weight. Mickie, until you lose about 20 pounds, then I'm afraid you cannot possibly wear the Divas belt.

Mickie: But-

Vince: *raises his hands* I'm sorry but you can't. This belt is for Divas only and until you look like a diva then no belt. Therefore Maryse will retain the belt at Night of Champions and move on to work with Gail Kim.

Mickie James curses loudly before storming away, screaming something about Victoria having the right idea. Meanwhile, Maryse makes another annoyed sound rolling her eyes in the process.

Vince: What now, Maryse? I know you're beautiful and all but there's only so much I can do ya know.

Maryse: *smiles* Well sir, I wuz just wondering eef I could work weeth Kelly Kelly. She eez, no doubt, the most fit person here. Next to moi, of course. I'm sure we could get along just well. *flashes Kelly Kelly a smile*

Kelly Kelly just stares at Maryse with a blank look on her face. I'm not sure she knows what to think of the suggestion. Vince looks over at Kelly Kelly and shrugs.

Vince: Whatever. What are your plans?

Maryse: *laughs* Oh well. I'm sure we will come up with something. *grabs Kelly Kelly's hand* Come along Ms. Kelly Kelly. We have things to do.

Kelly Kelly: Uh...does this mean I get a title shot soon?

Maryse: *grins* But of course.

The two leave hand in hand with Maryse yapping happily in French. Meanwhile, Gail Kim and McCool are the only Divas left.

Gail Kim: *clears throat* Uh...sir? I...I was wondering if I could actually win a few matches now. I've been back for quite a while now and unlike some people, I can actually wrestle.

Vince: You were on TNA. TNA is for losers. Therefore you must lose like a loser until I decide you're a winner.

Gail Kim: Um...But I'm 1 and 14. Can I at least-?

Vince: You're dismissed. Oh and by the way, I'm moving you to Raw.

Gail Kim: But what about my title shot? Teddy Long promised me a shot at McCool's belt at Night of Champions.

Vince: Not going to happen since you're moving to Raw. Besides, I called McCool in here to tell her that since The Undertaker is one of my favorite superstars, I've decided to let her keep the belt for the next four months.

Gail Kim: But that's not fair! She's keeping the belt just because she's dating some creepy old guy?

McCool: That's right and you better watch your mouth about what you say about my man! He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Not my fault no one wants you.

Gail Kim: Can't see why he wants YOU. *mumbles* Sex changes can do wonders for some people.

McCool: What did you say?

Gail Kim: Nothing.

Vince: Well I've had enough Divas for one day. You're both dismissed.

Both ladies leave Vince's office though I can't help but over hear something that sounded strangely like "maybe I should kill off Stephanie McMahon" coming from Gail. I also thought I heard McCool say something like "Shawn's next on my list," but maybe I was hearing things.

Meeting 2 - Matt Hardy

Vince: What can I do for you?

Vince is currently sitting at his desk going over some paperwork. Matt walks in but Vince hardly looks up from his work.

Matt: Well boss, I was hoping I could convince you to give me push towards the big one now. I think I've earned it.

Vince: *as he scribbles something down on paper* What makes you think I'd want to do a silly thing like that?

Matt: Well...I have dedicated my life to this business. All I do is go out there and give 200 percent every time I step foot in the ring. I job when you want and I even go out of my way to look after Jeff.

Vince: And you keep doing that. I need Jeff.

Matt: Uh...right. *nervously* So um..how about it, boss?

Vince: How about what?

Matt: The title push.

Vince: I'm already pushing Jeff. I don't need to push you too.

Matt: *looks hurt* But why not boss? He's on Smackdown. I'm on Raw. It could work. Plus, I'm not asking to win it just yet. I just want to get in on the hunt so I can get better. I'd like to work with Shawn before he retires. I could learn from him just like Jeff learned from Hunter.

Vince: *lazily* Because no one cares about you. You should know this by now Matt. Ever since you and Jeff were The Hardy Boys, it was clear even then who was destined to become a star and sadly it wasn't you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have paperwork to finish.

I watch as Matt Hardy leaves with blank look on his face. He has his Blackberry out and appears to be tweeting about something or another. I'm really feeling bad for him right now because I personally like him better than Jeff. But that's just me.

Meeting 3 - The Hart Dynasty

Vince is on the phone with some very important people. Apparently they are telling him bad news because all kinds of obscenities are escaping his lips. I don't think I should repeat what I heard. He finally slams the phone down and there's a knock on his door.

Vince: *growls* Get in here and make it quick!

The door opens and in walks Nattie, Tyson, and Smith. Tyson and Smith look a little nervous but Nattie seems angry.

Nattie: Vince, I want to wrestle. What good is all my training if I can't use any of it?

Vince: Lose 30 pounds and then get back to me.

Nattie: But...But I can really wrestle! I can really move in the ring! I know tons of submission holds and-

Vince: Get OUT of my office unless you want to end up like Bret - screwed.

All three members of the Dynasty look highly insulted but rather than argue with Vince in his bad mood, they quickly left the office.

Of course, Nattie made sure to mumble "Savage for Hall of Fame" before slamming the door leaving a distraught Vinnie Mac to brood. I wonder who was on the phone with him? Ahh well... Guess I'll never know.

Well that's all I have for you. I don't know if I'll be sitting in on any more meetings. Seriously. What's the point? I don't see anything wrong with the way he runs things...Not really.

Okay. So maybe Mickie James doesn't need to lose weight but when you think about it, she doesn't really fit in the "Divas" category. Most of those chicks can't really wrestle but Mickie can. Same goes for Nattie.

And Matt...well, I really don't know what to say about him. His brother Jeff has always been the more popular of the two so I'm not really sure why he hasn't realized this by now.

However, I do believe he should have a title shot because like it or not, he has been more loyal than Jeff. At least he actually signs his contracts and never takes time off to work for the rival company.

Until next time...if there's a next time. FREEDOM! JUSTICE! TRUTH!

~Nef

*Note: You know full well none of this ever happened...not to my knowledge anyway. I have my own opinions about said superstars but this was written in a non biased way.  This was really all in good fun using all the rumors that you hear on the net about the the things that go on in the wrestling business.

So take that for what it's worth. If you take this, seriously then you need to get a life. Also, I realize there are spelling errors but I did it on purpose to fit Maryse's accent.