Marc Rzepczynski and the Spelling Bee All-Star Team

(Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)

But this guy's actually playing and hitting a bit, his name is a bit of a mouthful, and if you pronounce it wrong in mixed company, you're probably going to get slapped. 

Thus, he makes the team.

Right Field: Bronson Sardinha

What?

Why do we have a player who hasn't played in the majors in almost two years on our team? A player who's not playing professionally anywhere this year? A player with a total of 10 MLB at-bats?

Or, for that matter, a player whose first and last names are not particularly difficult to spell or say? Why?

Because his middle name is almost 20 letters long: Kiheimahanaomauikeo

And that's all I have to say about that.

Starting Pitchers

Left-Handed Pitcher: Marc Rzepczynski

Pronounced...who knows?

Has lots of potential, which is to say he hasn't done anything yet. (Honorable mention: Mark Buehrle.)

Right-Handed Pitcher: Zack Greinke

Not a long or tough-to-pronounce name, but he disobeys the "i before e except after c" rule, so that's something.

It should be noted, however, that he obeys the "if you're the best pitcher in baseball, spell your name however you damn well please" rule, which was admittedly just instituted this year.

Honorable Mention: Justin Duchscherer

Pronounced "DUKE-shur," not "do-SHARE-er" or "Dutch-sher-er," was actually having a pretty good year, with a 2.54 ERA in 2008 before getting injured, and he hasn't pitched since.

Relief Pitcher

Jonathan Albaladejo

Pronounced "All-ball-a-DAY-ho" threw too many balls, all day-o, and got sent back to the minors for it, but he was recently recalled when Chien-Ming Wang's shoulder landed him on the disabled list.

Chris Jakubauskas 

This 30-year old rookie was horrible as a starter (2-5, 6.64), but solid in 22 relief innings. Chris "JAK-u-boss-kus" is probably our closer.

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