My 2009 Dream Derby
The Home Run Derby rosters were already announced, but they got it wrong. Here’s who it should be, not in any particular order. And here are some home run calls much better than whatever gibberish Berman comes up with this year.
Watch that baby... Outtttta here!
It could be, it might be... It is, A home run!
Because otherwise ESPN won’t watch.
If they let him take a couple of hacks he’d probably pitch for free. Recession busted!
The Home Run Derby is just for fun, so no pressure right?
It should help his confidence if he sees some pitching he can catch up to.
Last year he hit like a million homers too early and got tired. This time around he’s craftily avoided mid-season fatigue with liberal use of the DL.
NLCS Game 4.
Because he will argue balls and strikes.
Every Home Run Derby needs the token line drive hitter who doesn‘t know what he‘s doing there.
About 30 teams could still use him, Hi haters!
What’s a nice family event like the Home Run Derby without some profanity?
I’m realistic, he probably can’t play pro baseball… but the derby? Come on, the guy weighs 265 easy.
Because it’s in St. Louis, and that’s the ONLY reason.
Anybody from the Pirates
Doesn't everybody need to send someone? Wait? That’s just the All-Star game? Phew, that was close.