2001 Patriots Musical To Star Ben Folds As Drew Bledsoe

Columnist Written on July 04, 2009

A Bleacher Report reporter get an interview with Gerard Messner, Broadway producer, about his latest project, a musical version of the 2001 Patriots.

"Mr. Messner..."

"Please, call me Gerry."

Gerry, I see from my notes you produced the Lion King.

"No, it is 'Ger..REEE' with the emphasis on the last syllable."

"Excuse me, GerREE..."

"No, still not there yet. Drag out the 'E' sound. Even you can get it."

"Sorry, GerREEE," looks to see if it is right, get no complaint then continues, "I see from my notes you produced the 'Lion King.'"

"Simple misunderstanding, I produced 'The Lying Queen'. A great musical about Queen Victoria' secret affair with a Scottsman."

"Still, a Broadway play..."

"Technically, it never appeared on Broadway. It did make it to Broadway in Quincy, Illinois, but I'm told that doesn't count."

"Let me ask about your current project, a musical rendition of the 2001 Patriots. Why them?"

"They had a bit of everything, but I want to focus on the Bledsoe saga as, want I feel is the most turbulent emotional ground."

"I've heard you want to cast Ben Folds as Drew Bledsoe. That strains credibility, doesn't it?"

"It is in the preliminary stages. Although Mr. Folds is not an actor and has no experience playing football I think it is the only way to get rights to the Song For The Dumped."

"I assume you'll want to change the lyrics to something like 'Give my position back, Give my position back, you bastard,' right?"

"But of course. We are also considering Ruben Studdard for Romeo Crennel."

So, is this humor, history, or musical theater review? Oh, GerREEE does not exist and the quotes are made up. Although if someone wants to mine the 2001 Patriots for musical theater is anyone's guess. Oh editors, the Tom Brady tag is there because one can not discuss Bledsoe in 2001 without mentioning Tom Brady. Same goes for Belichick.

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written on July 04, 2009 Humor

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