Glen Sather's Prayer for the 2009-10 Season

Charles

Contributor Written on July 03, 2009

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MONTREAL - JUNE 26: President & GM Glen Sather of the New York Rangers shakes hands with draft pick Chris Kreider while Professional Scout Jeff Gorton looks on during the first round of the 2009 NHL Entry Draft at the Bell Centre on June 26, 2009 in Mont

Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

As many Ranger fans lament about the lack of a true first-line center, a big nasty defenseman, and the contracts of Wade Redden, Michael Roszival, and Chris Drury, the following thoughts came to mind.

Now if you only think that filling a team's holes comes with the signing of quality veteran players, one might be overly concerned...um no, make that more like in a panic.

There comes a point in every organization's development when some of the reins and the responsibility for improvement has to be turned over to the young kids, because the holes are just too big to try and fill with Free Agent signings and trades.

I have no doubt that like last year, Slats is again going to rely on a lot of prayer and a dose of hope. Can't say that I know if Slats is religious or not, but if it's the latter then I suggest he gets some religion real fast.

Here's Glen Sather's prayer list for the upcoming season:

Oh Lord, Allah, Ishvara, Yahweh, Vishnu, Deus, Jupiter, Zeus ... whatever is going to work, please provide me with the following:

Nik Zherdev

May Nik Zherdev understand the meaning of consistency and show the same desire game in and game out like a Marian Gaborik or Ryan Callahan.

Marion Gaborik

ANAHEIM, CA - APRIL 13: Goaltender Ilya Bryzgalov #30 of the Anaheim Ducks allows a goal to Marian Gaborik #10 of the Minnesota Wild as Gaborik's teammate Brian Rolston #12 looks on in the second period to tie the game at 1-1 during game two of the 2007

Speaking of Gaborik, please provide him with an invisible force field so that no one hits him...may his hip not hurt and may his groins be limber.

Ryan Callahan

May Ryan Callahan continue his development and become that gritty winger who scores 30-35 goals.

Brandon Dubinsky

May Dubinsky really blossom this season and develop into a serviceable, albeit not spectacular, first-line center.

Chris Drury

May Chris Drury find his true voice and lead every night by example...oh yeah, could you also have him score 30 goals and make them all clutch goals?

Daniel Girardi

May Dan Girardi play a little bit more like the 2007-2008 Girardi, just better.

Marc Staal

May Marc Staal play like one of the top 10 d'men from Canada...and chip in five or six more goals this year.

Henrik Lundquist

NEW YORK - APRIL 26: Henrik Lundqvist #30 of the New York Rangers tends net against the Washington Capitals during Game Six of the Eastern Conference Quarterfinal Round of the 2009 NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs at Madison Square Garden on April 26, 2009 in Ne

May KING Henrick get a lot of sleep and stay healthy all year, real healthy.

Wade Redden

May Wade Redden play well enough so that he doesn't get booed every night...I won't ask you to have him play up to his salary cap number, because some miracles are just too miraculous.

In the alternative, can you find me an even dumber GM out there to trade him to for a seventh-round draft choice?

Michael Roszival

NEW YORK - JANUARY 24: Michal Roszival #3 of the New York Rangers celebrates his third period goal against the Atlanta Thrashers on January 24, 2008 at Madison Square Garden in New York City. (Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)

May Michael Roszival play well enough so that he doesn't get booed every night...I won't ask you to have him play up to his salary cap number, because some miracles are just too miraculous. In the alternative, can you find me an even dumber GM out there to trade him to for a seventh round draft choice?

Hmmm, I have a feeling I've already asked for something like this before.

Matt Gilroy

May Matt Gilroy provide us with 18 quality minutes a night.

Artem Anisimov

May Artem Anisimov score at least half as well as he did in the AHL last season.

Lauri Korpikoski

May Lauri Korpikoski at least double his production and kill penalties well.

Brian Boyle

May Brian Boyle "get it" and use his body each and every game—also, may we be rewarded when we use him front of the net on the PP because we think he might be good for 15-20 goals this year.

Christopher Higgins

May Higgins score 30, be healthy all year, help on the PP and kill penalties at the same time.

Evgeny Grachev

May I have a real young stud prospect forward surprise us all and make the team this year?

Ilkka Heikkinen

May I have a 24 year old Finnish defenseman come in and surprise us all by making the team and manning the point on our PP?

John Tortorella

May John Tortorella not run these guys so ragged that we experience too many injuries and find ourselves too fatigued come playoff time...Um, may we please make the playoffs?

Thank you God, that's it...for now.

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written on July 03, 2009 Humor

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