Fantasy Breakdown Day 1: The Dallas Cowboys

Bad news: Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson are still together.

For those unsure of why that is considered bad news, let me explain to you the mechanics of what I like to call the "Mega Hottie Release Program".

When a guy breaks up with a mega hottie, his first goal in life is to get another mega hottie who is even more attractive than the last one.

To do this, Tony would have had to do something spectacular this season to catapult himself back into the limelight.

Something like 4000 yards, 30 touchdowns and a Super Bowl appearance.

Sadly, fantasy owners weren't granted such an occasion.

Good News: T.O is gone and this offense is going to run like it is supposed to.

Rejoice Cowboys fans, the Romo you cheer will be making 16 appearances this season.

I'm projecting top 4 fantasy numbers this year; which is going to be a steal, seeing as Romo is projected for 3rd-4th rounds.

For those of you out there not as obsessed with Greek mythology as I am--I'm going to guess 99% of you--Cerberus was the three-headed monster that guarded the gates of Hell.

How does this relate to the Cowboys?

They also have a three-headed monster, and it plays running back.

Leading this charge is Marion Barber; one of the most powerful running backs this league has seen since Earl Campbell.

Here are Barber's stats for the past 4 years:

2005-13 games played-138 carries-5 tds
2006-16 games played-135 carries-14 tds
2007-16 games played-204 carries-10 tds
2008-15 games played-238 carries- 7 tds

Remember that these stats were from seasons where he wasn't the starting running back. 2009 will be his first season as the starter, and as we've seen, his carries have increased with each season.

What keeps Marion Barber from being the number 1 running back on a lot of lists are the other two heads; Felix Jones and Tashard Choice.

Felix Jones is the Bolter(I'm replacing speedster with Bolter henceforth in honor of Usain Bolt's ego) from Arkansas. In 2008 he showed the world his blazing speed with early touchdown runs exceeding 50 yards.

The other head is Tashard Choice. Thought of as just a throwaway, Choice shed that opinion when he ran for 135 yards against the mighty Steelers defense.

I can say with clear conscience that this is the league's best running game.

The problem lies in how many carries they will vulture from each other.

The only one to be drafted with any reliability is Barber aka Mr. Goalline Carries R'Us.

Choice should be grabbed as a handcuff and Felix Jones should be taken in leagues that grant Points Per Reception and Points for return yards.

I'm sure quite a few of you were expecting Roy Williams picture to be plastered here.

I'm sure quite a few people outside of Dallas wouldn't know Miles Austin if they saw him on the street.

It's hard for me to say that a team's receiving corps will be better after losing its best receiver, but Terrell Owens is a special case.

Austin and Williams fit Tony Romo's gunslinging style with their size and vertical ability.

Adding to the receiving corps is the best Tight End in the league, Jason Witten.

Witten should be the first TE taken off the board. Always. It's no longer a competition.

Roy Williams is currently in the 2nd tier of WR and should be taken somewhere in the 3rd-4th rounds.

Miles Austin is the steal and best of all, unless a diehard Cowboys fan is in your draft, you can grab him rather late.

Since the Mid-90s the Cowboys have boasted one of the league's best offensive lines.

This year's crop is no different.

Led by bulldozer Flozell Adams, this unit is the reason I recommend Romo and Barber to any and all fantasy teams.

This Cowboys team gets an A.

Thanks to the star studded offensive line, the Cowboys will give you a top 5 QB, a top 5 RB, a top 10 WR and an absolute sleeper of a pick in Miles Austin.

Coming tomorrow: The New York Football Giants.