The Johnny Footlong will destroy your shirt, stomach and perhaps even your soul.
Invented by the culinary mad scientists of the Akron RubberDucks, the footlong dog made its minor league debut last weekend. To call the eight-ounce frank a "gut bomb" wouldn't quite cover it.
Featuring Texas Jack chili, shredded pepper jack cheese and a dribbling of Sriracha sauce, the Johnny Manziel-inspired creation sounds more like a heartburn-inducing bunker buster. It also sounds delicious.
Nina Mandell of For The Win reports that the Double-A affiliate of the Cleveland Indians is excited to bring Manziel Mania to the ballpark.
"Johnny Football mania is in full swing at Canal Park, and we are excited to have a food & beverage offering dedicated to the new Browns quarterback," said RubberDucks general manager Jim Pfander in a press release. "It's an exciting time for the Akron and Cleveland area."
I like this promotion. If you're going to make a Manziel-inspired item, it better be over the top and divisive. This is a messy, relationship-ruining product.
Poor saps are going to paint the front of their slacks eating this hot dog—an incident that will be the final nail in the coffin for at least one relationship. Your breath alone after eating a Johnny Footlong will be enough to put you on the couch for the night.
This is the edgiest Manziel-related foodstuff we've seen to date. The Cleveland Browns' first-round draft pick has already inspired a hamburger and beer in his honor.
Johnny Football is all up in Ohio's palates, and he's yet to play a game for the Browns.
One can only imagine the promotions FirstEnergy Stadium will put together when football season rolls around. It'll have to roll out a brat battered in Red Bull and ghost peppers to compete with the Johnny Footlong.
On the Twitters.