Belgium are trying to encourage neutrals to get behind their team at the World Cup—and they're going to help you by giving you a local name.
Belgium has a population of just over 11 million people, while their World Cup last-16 opponents, the United States, has roughly 317 million, so clearly a little extra backing won't hurt.
"Not having a team in Brazil doesn't mean you have to miss out on football," they write. "The Belgian Red Devils will gladly adopt you as a new fan."
The Belgiumize Me website lets you add your first and last names along with your gender to find out who you are.
This writer found his name transformed to Modest Peeters and frankly thought it was an improvement.
One slight flaw: Evidently, some of Belgium's World Cup roster names were not sufficiently Belgian—goalkeeper Thibaut Courtois (who sounds quite Belgian to these ears) came out as Timo Claes (which is, admittedly, very Belgian). Dries Mertens, meanwhile, becomes Didier Massart.
But on the whole, it's our favourite "what would my name be"' device since the "Brazilian football name" tool.