John Cena stands and salutes the reporters who stare back at him confused.
"The...champ...is...here," shouted Cena into the microphone.
"Yes, obviously, you are the champ," stated a reporter. "You're forever in the title picture."
"You want some?" demanded Cena towards the reporter. "Then come get some!"
"I'll pass on that offer, thank you very much, Mr. Cena. My name is Mr. Le Blanc, founder and owner of RNN," said the reporter. "We've seen you take on some tremendous challenges over your career: rapping, acting, and wrestling. You've somehow managed to find success while failing at all three. What should we expect at WrestleMania XXVI from you?"
"You know," Cena said, his voice low, "you may be right. You may actually be right. [voice rises, only to lower and rise again] But I don't care. I don't like you and I won't ever like you, but to be honest I respect you.
"Why do I respect you? I don't know. I just always seem to respect my challengers and you are now challenging me.
"I'm going to go to WrestleMania and, if I'm not champion, I'm leaving as champion. If I am champion, I'm leaving as champion. Whether I've got to go through one, two, six men, a lemur, a Kodiak bear, and the popcorn vendor, I will deliver an Attitude Adjustment to them all...at the same time. Because I am John Cena, and I don't lose at PPVs."
"Ah, Mr. Mysterio, Daris Brown of Hit the Ropes Radio," said Mr. Brown. "At WrestleMania XXV you won the Intercontinental Championship. Currently, you are the IC champ. Do you think you can possibly hold the belt until the next WrestleMania?"
"Rey Mysterio has taken on all challengers," started Mysterio. "Chris Jericho tried to take off my mask and failed. The others will fail as well. Un perro hizo piz en mí. Quiero no acostarse y mirar Mundo Verdadero. Necesito para utilizar el quarto de baño. Mysterio is a warrior."
Many in the audience are confused and are trying to find out what was said in Spanish.
"Damnit, Rey, I said we only speak English here in the WWE," snarled Mr. McMahon.
"Um, yeah, Rey, I speak some Spanish myself," said Mr. Le Blanc, "and if I'm not mistaken, you mentioned a dog peeing on you, you wanting to stay up to watch Real World, and you need to use the bathroom. What do those things have to do with my question?"
"Oh, you speak Spanish?" asked Mysterio sheepishly.
"All right, that's it, the press conference is over," said Mr. McMahon, trying to act calm. He puts on a forced smile. "WrestleMania XXVI will be the biggest WrestleMania yet. Thank you."
[He turns and whispers to Mysterio but the sentence is picked up by the mic] "You speak Spanish one more time and you'll be losing that title to Hornswoggle in a Hog Pen Match."
Shane Howard is a member of the Hit The Ropes Radio Show team. Tune in to HTR this and every Wednesday from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. EST. Be sure to add HTR's Web site to your favorites, YouTube us, add us on Myspace, follow us on Twitter, and join the Facebook group. Be sure to check out HTR this week as we present the first ever Ropey Awards.
113 Comments
Loading more comments...
This comment and all replies have been deleted This comment has been deleted Undo delete