Forgive me for rummaging through the writerly bag of overwrought cliches, but heed this advice on draft night: Expect the unexpected.
If it is at all possible, we now know less about how Thursday night's event will play out than we did at the time of the lottery. Joel Embiid was locked in as the No. 1 pick before his medical exam turned up a foot fracture, and the pair of Jabari Parker (Milwaukee) and Andrew Wiggins (Philadelphia) also seemed settled in their destinations.
Only beginning at No. 5 did we have any palpable intrigue. Now, we're in the midst of NBA anarchy. No one has any idea what the Cavs are thinking, and their decision will dictate almost the entire lottery. Without a chance in the world of discerning fact from fiction, smokescreen from tangible rumor, at this point it's almost impossible to figure out how this draft will shake out.
To throw a cherry on top: LeBron James decided to exercise his early-termination option. The mere possibility of luring James may cause teams to alter their plans—including (rather, especially) the Miami Heat. I'm 24 years old and cannot remember a draft having this many moving parts still left to be decided with just hours remaining.
With that in mind, I'm turning in my Draft Day SAT. If deals are consummated between now and Adam Silver stepping to the podium, I'll quickly update my picks via Twitter. But, as far as actual analysis goes, here is a look at my final outlook for the 2014 NBA draft.