Kansas City Chiefs Offseason State of the Union

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Kansas City Chiefs Offseason State of the Union
USA TODAY Sports|Image Edited by Brett Gering

The Kansas City Chiefs' offseason has been a maze riddled with valleys, peaks and face-palming detours.

Basically, the Chiefs have been a marble, and the recent schedule has been its Labyrinth board. (I don't know who made that game, but they're allergic to happiness.)

Prior to free agency, time passed and everything unfolded as planned. Your once-shred of faith in stability grew into a molehill. Despite a few bumps in the road, nothing rocked the boat. Consistency breeds conviction.

Then, just when you've developed the ability to trust again, the script got flipped. Everything veered off course: the O-line imploded, Brandon Flowers joined the enemy and suddenly every question in your household became unbearably annoying. 

("Do you want some cake, Honey?" Cake? Who the **** eats cake? Am I a princess? Are you questioning my manhood? I thought I just bought a hat, but apparently I spent $29.95 on a ******* tiara. Cake...)

Nobody claimed that fans are rational. One second, a sports ticker to a non-supporter is a sports ticker. Fifteen minutes and one Pro Bowler's release later, they discover it's actually a fuse to a vein-inflating, in-law-ranting time bomb.

For Chiefs fans, three offseason events have triggered "woosahhh..." sessions: the mass exodus of free agents, the unwillingness to draft an outside-the-numbers wideout and the abrupt exit of Flowers—a cornerbacking cornerstone.

However, if John Dorsey proved anything last year, it's that doubting the man behind the curtain usually paves a one-way trip to regret. 

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