Chicago Cubs Prop Bets for the Second Half

As July starts, the Chicago Cubs are looking up at more Muggsy Bogues at the team buffet.

In fact, the only distinction for which the Cubs can claim to be higher than another team in the division is...well, Geovany Soto's extracurricular habits.

All of the media has been negative for the Cubs over the past few weeks, with a new culpit being identified by the day. First, it was Milton Bradley. Then, it was Carlos Zambrano, then Lou Piniella, then Bradley, then Alfonso Soriano, then Bradley, and then Jim Hendry.

Let's blame everyone, shall we?

So, in an effort to lighten the mood, let's look at some fun prop bets fans could make around the Chicago Cubs for after the All Star Break.

Albert Pujols Home Runs vs Milton Bradley RBI

In the second half, which will be the greater total:

Albert Pujols home runs vs. Milton Bradley runs batted in

Some perspective: in June, Pujols hit 14 homers. To date, Milton Bradley has 17 RBI FOR THE SEASON.

Smart money's on Pujols, but watch out for a charging Bradley. He might hit 50 RBI if he gets hot in August.

Then again, if Bradley gets hot, he might get suspended again.

Ejections: Carlos Zambrano vs. Lou Piniella Straight Up

This might be as intriguing as it gets.

The volatile Piniella against the volcanic Zambrano in a matchup for the ages

Piniella scratched the score sheet for the first time on Wednesday, and Zambrano has already distinguished himself this season with a legendary tirade of his own.

Smart money here's on Zambrano. If Piniella gets any more frustrated, he might just quit and go do whatever it is he claimed to be doing when defending his catcher.

Over/Under: Cubs starters with 15+ wins - 0.5

That's right, Ted, it isn't something to look at!

As of Wednesday, the Chicago Cubs are two games under .500 with the fourth-best team ERA (3.89) in all of baseball.

Ted Lilly, however, leads the team in wins with a pathetic 7-6 record. Rich Harden, who's already taken one of his two annual month-long vacations, is second with only five victories.

This from a team that had two 17-game winners in 2008...

Milton Bradley Games Played in Second Half vs. Alfonso Soriano Strikeouts in August

The Cubs will play 77 games in the second half for Milton Bradley.

The Cubs play 29 games in August, with Alfonso Soriano figuring to get almost four chances to whiff.

Figuring the current ratios, weather conditions, and Nostradamous's predictions for the end of the world, I'd guess Soriano's the smart money play here. If he strikes out 50 times in August, that should seal it.

Total Home Runs: Ryan Theriot & Mike Fontenot vs Milton Bradley & Kosuke Fukudome

Current totals:

The LSU Connection (Theriot & Fontenot) = 13

The $68 Million Right Fielder (Fukudome & Bradley) = 12

Neither Theriot or Fontenot stands taller than 5'11, but their power is undeniable. Smart money stays in the infield with the Smurfs.

Total Season Wins: Jason Marquis vs. Anyone in the Cubs' Rotation

Color me confused by this one: Jason Marquis, the exiled former Cubs fifth starter might start the All Star Game for the National League? Really?

He was the first pitcher in the NL to reach 10 wins for the season, despite pitching in the only park to compete with Yankee Stadium to be the next home of the Little League World Series.

Meanwhile, the Cubs have the worst batting average with runners in scoring position and, as I said earlier, the highest win total for a Cub pitcher is seven right now.

In September: Carlos Zambrano Wins vs. Jay Cutler TD Passes to Devin Hester

Fire it up! Da Bears got a quarterback!

This could be a sticky bet.

Zambrano has four wins in three months.

Hester has five career touchdowns.

I'm going to put the money on Cutler to Hester.

Total Games Played in October: Mark DeRosa vs. The Entire Cubs Team

Sorry kids, but our beloved Mark DeRosa is on the Cardinals now.

And not the Cubs.

Smart money's on DeRo, sadly.

Over/Under: Number of Cubs' Fans that Care About Sammy Sosa by 2010 - 21

You can formally count me as part of the millions that won't care about the Cubs' corking legend.

I'd probably take the over on this one because naivity is bliss and many fans will remember the glorious season(lie)that was 1998.