Belichick's Insane Demands Tiring Jonathan Kraft

(Photo by Jodi Hilton/Getty Images)

One of Jonathan Kraft's many duties is to procure hard to get items that BB requires.

"The most tiring item," said Kraft the Younger, "was unicorn blood."

"Unicorn blood," I said, "I assumed he needed blood of virgins."

"Nah," he said, "that was Mangini."  

Then he continued, "At first I thought he was crazy.  I mean unicorns don't really exist, right?  So I just go to the butcher shop and get some, I think it was cow's blood."

I nod.  Frankly, what can I ask about unicorn blood.

"So he's all like 'Jonathan, do you want me to tell your father you failed at such a simple task.'"

I was surprised at like Jonathan's like use of "like" as like a verbal crutch.  "So, he could tell.  What'd you do?"

"At first I was like really down," he said.  "I mean I figured, like, I'd never get it since they are not real.  Then I came across this unicorn."

"I mean, like, it was easy.  Just go to that Italian zoo, donate lots of money, and get a pint of blood from that deer.  And if that failed, I had a back up plan."

"So did Belichick say, 'Thank you'?" I asked.

"No, he was all calmly huffy.  'I guess this'll have to do,' was all he said."

"What did he need it for?" I asked.

"I asked him that and he just glared at me.  'Isn't it obvious,' he told me and said nothing more.  I was afraid to say, 'No, not to me, it's not obvious.'"

Well, when you think about it, it obviously is part of  potion to heal Tom Brady, but I did not want to show up Jonathan.

You're currently logged into Facebook

Do you want to share your Bleacher Report activity on Facebook?