I wonder what a Bleacher Report commercial would look like if Zander and the head honchos at B/R decided to make one. I wonder what it would look like if Billy Mays was presenting it...hmm...zzz...
This pitch was presented in front of a live studio audience.
Bored with sports? Is sports a passion that you can write about? Are your writing skills at least up to the minimum standards (i.e. at least eighth grade)? Think you can write about your hometown or favorite teams better than your local newspaper writers?
Hi, Billy Mays here with the solution. Welcome to the open source sports networking site known as Bleacher Report. Here you can interact with fans of every genre of sport. From baseball and football down to high school sports, Bleacher Report has it all.
But wait, there's more! Here on Bleacher Report you can write all your favorite teams and players in a news-style platform. Bleacher Report is your one-stop-shop for all sports and sports-related news and humor written by you the fans.
Boring college classes giving you fits? Have a laptop with a free Wi-Fi connection like at Temple University? Write an article on Bleacher Report, vote for the article that you think deserves to be the "Article Of The Day," and much more.
Boring family get together? Near a computer? Jump on Bleacher Report and see who's been reading your articles.
Now for a change; you don't have to be a Journalism major in college to write about sports. It's so easy even a spotty teenager and old-timers can write about sports on Bleacher Report.
Here you can see how the "patent" B/R process works for writing articles
1. It starts in the brain: all those ideas formulating into an idea that is filled with sports goodness.
2. Then as that creamy idea of sports nougatty goodness starts to cram into a candy bar sized idea, it flows down to the fingers when the idea becomes words.
3. Then, as those fingers type out those words it is translated to the interwebs or interweb for you to see.
4. Finally, after spell check is used on your creamy goodness that is a sports article it is finished ready for all to see (and comes back to you as the finished product).
Now lets hear some customer testimonials
Person One: "Yeah man, B/R is the best. I go on there everyday to see the latest and greatest sports writers have to say about stuff."
Person B: "B/R truly is the greatest Open Source Sports Network out there. It beats personal blogs, Yardbarker, even those in my local newspaper."
Act now, and we will throw in your first AOTD or POTD (Post Of The Day) for free. But wait! There's more! Act now and you'll also get a free Bleacher Report t-shirt; a ten dollar value, yours free, just pay shipping and handling!
Sign up in the next 10 minutes and we will DOUBLE your AOTD/POTD total. So you'll get your free membership, your first AOTD, second AOTD, and Bleacher Report t-shirt absolutely free, just pay shipping and handling.
Not only that, but if you sign up in the next FIVE minutes, we will throw in your first article featured on a major sports site like, FOXSports, CBSSports, Yahoo! Sports absolutely free.
So you get your first AOTD, your second AOTD, your major sports site featured article, and the Bleacher Report t-shirt; a 10 dollar value yours free, just pay shipping and handling. Overall, a 10 dollar value, just pay shipping and handling.
Think you have what it takes? Sign up now, log on to Bleacher Report today to start your journey into the great beyond that is fan journalism.
Whoa...I just had this crazy dream that B/R finally made it's very first commercial Billy Mays was the pitchman presenting B/R to everyone in the world.