Athlete Instagrams We Really Didn't Need to See
Photo albums used to be a thing uninterested parties only saw when a friend or loved one pulled them from their dusty closet home—which is something that is pretty hard to imagine these days.
Today, smartphones capable of capturing hundreds of quality digital photos are nearly as inseparable from modern man as the wallet or purse.
And with the rise of social media apps that are capable of broadcasting those images to all your family members, friends, enemies and countless complete strangers, that old photo album is no longer relegated to those awkward two-bottle wine nights.
The reality is that most people can document every aspect of their life and foist it upon their friends and acquaintances. What's so insane about this paradigm shift is that you and I suddenly have access to the metaphorical faded Polaroids of famous athletes.
As a result, a world that was once opaque is now painfully and candidly thrust upon our lives—often via Instagram. And for all the awesomeness this access gives sports fans, sometimes it's a double-edged, oversharing, TMI sword.
Here are some athlete Instagrams we really didn't need to see.
Yasiel Puig, Los Angeles Dodgers
Dwyane Wade, Miami Heat
Instagram ID: dwyanewade
Considering this photo is tagged to his fiancé Gabrielle Union, it looks like Heat superstar Dwyane Wade accidentally posted a private photo publicly and figured it wasn’t worth the hassle of taking it down. Either way, we certainly didn’t need to see it.
Evan Mathis, Philadelphia Eagles
Carmelo Anthony, New York Knicks
Donte Stallworth, Former NFL Player
Mike Napoli, Boston Red Sox
Kenny Britt, St. Louis Rams
Ty Lawson, Denver Nuggets
Instagram ID: tylawson3
Caption: "That applesauce life... #crinnay #noyoucanthavenone#f'thebowliwantthewholething"
Count Nuggets point guard Ty Lawson chugging down applesauce out of the jar while driving among the many things we never needed to see—what the what?! Might as well throw this photo oversharing his bathroom behavior onto the same pile.
Aroldis Chapman, Cincinnati Reds
Instagram ID: _thecubanmissile54
Caption: "#chapmanswagg Monthly cleaning"
If you’re thinking that people these days can’t even go to the dentist without posting about it on social media, you’re obviously right. Reds pitcher Aroldis Chapman recently visited the dentist, and unfortunately we didn’t have to miss a moment.
Darnell Dockett, Arizona Cardinals
Instagram ID: dockett90
Caption: "First thing I do every morning!!! #trainingcamp"
Frankly, given the extent to which Cardinals defensive end Darnell Dockett has overshared on social media in the past, this video of him brushing his teeth in his boxers is actually pretty tame by comparison. That doesn’t mean we wish we hadn’t seen it, though.
Connor Barwin, Philadelphia Eagles
Floyd Mayweather, Boxer
Instagram ID: floydmayweather
Caption: "watching tv.. the four bottles of Cristal is sleep like _________."
It’s not like this photo of Floyd Mayweather and four bottles of Cristal is shocking or anything; it’s just that everything he posts to Instagram is aimed at showing us how ridiculous rich he is. We get it, Floyd Money, you’ve got a lot of money.
Antrel Rolle, New York Giants
Instagram ID: antrelrolle
Caption: "I didn't know when I came to work this morning it was LOOK LIKE A FOOL DAY.... Did I not get the memo?? Well apparently only 2 guys did get the memo and to be honest they always have the memo if you catch my drift LMFAO!! As a professional athlete there are 2 things you should never ever ever ever ever (smokey voice) wear. #1 ONESIE #2 SOME BAGGY AS OLD SCHOOL UNDERWEAR 😂😂😂 Now for the challenging question.... Which NYGiants wore what?? Lol let the games begin!!!!!!"
So apparently, someone on the Giants wears super saggy draws and someone else wears an adult male onesie. Nobody needs to know this stuff.
Nick Young, Los Angeles Lakers
Reggie Bush, Detroit Lions
Sean Avery, Retired NHL
Sam Barrington, Green Bay Packers
Ronda Rousey, MMA
Instagram ID: rondarousey
Caption: "Happy thanksgiving everybody ;)"
Most of us see raw poultry on Thanksgiving, but it’s certainly not the best part of the holiday. While we appreciate that UFC fighter Ronda Rousey posed the birds in a cute little armbar, it doesn’t really make the photo much more enjoyable than if she hadn’t.
Josh Cribbs, NFL Free Agent
Instagram ID: joshcribbs16
Caption: "Regram from my boy @bigscoop82. 'Quaid...start the reactor Quaid'"
Honestly, why we didn’t need to see this one should really go without saying.
Kam Chancellor, Seattle Seahawks
James Harrison, NFL Free Agent
Paul Bissonnette, Phoenix Coyotes
Wesley Woodyard, Tennesse Titans
Instagram ID: wooddro52
It’s nice that Titans linebacker Wesley Woodyard posted a shoutout to his wife for her very first Mother’s Day as a mom, but was this really his only option? This is something that, if you insist on having done, is ideally kept in-house.
LeBron James, Miami Heat
Instagram ID: kingjames
Caption: "Somebody call 911. The weight room just got murdered! Lol. Off day training. #strivingforgreatness#focused"
Heat superstar LeBron James is obviously in pretty great shape, and there’s nothing wrong with showing it off. That being said, the King’s pants are just a little too graphic in this instance. Personally, I could’ve also done without an update from his recent dentist visit.