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NFL Thug Life Report—Congrats Plax, You're Screwed!

LEBANON - JANUARY 14: New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress walks through security as he arrives at the Lebanon County Courthouse January 14, 2009 in Lebanon, Pa.  Burress is scheduled to appear in a civil trial in a dispute with an automobile dealer over what he owes in damages to a vehicle supplied to him by the dealership. (Photo by Chris Gardner/Getty Images)
Greg RiotAnalyst IJune 30, 2009

The long-arm of the law may be handcuffed by its own bureaucratic loopholes, but that doesn’t mean that NFL players who violate the law won’t receive punishment by another gavel swinging authority. Roger Goddell has been swinging his hammer of justice ever since he assumed the NFL Commissioner mantle, and his long hit list just keeps getting longer.

One guy who’s escaped the wrath of Roger thus far is Plaxico Burress, the troubled, gun toting wide-receiver formerly of the New York Giants. Burress’s case has been adjourned until September 23rd, 2009, which means that he’s free to explore which team he can potentially play for this coming NFL season.

Though that may excite the fans of football who completely ignore the absurdity of Plax’s crime, but it just raised the ire of Goddell who has mobilized a review of the Burress case. It’s no secret his decisions have been anything but lenient.

Case in point: Michael Vick, the highest-paid player in NFL history, who led a dog fighting ring, is now indefinitely suspended by Goddell. The punishment fits the crime in my opinion. But extend that to Donte Stallworth, who accidentally killed a man while driving under the influence who received a 30 day jail sentence, and an indefinite suspension from Goddell as well.

Along with his turbulent relationship with the often troubled Pacman Jones, Goddell has been bending over NFL law-breakers as if he were a pledge master on frat row. His fury knows no limit.

Goddell is not without reprieve. He gives his players a chance to amend themselves by making a man-on-man judgment call, like this was the wild west or something. But you can’t knock a man who vowed to protect the sanctity and integrity of the NFL at no cost. You can be a superstar or a bench player – Goddell will not have miscreants and deviants in his league.

So with that said, what are the chances Plaxico will see big money from NFL teams before his case resumes in late September? I say slim to none. Goddell won’t wait for the law to make a decision. Plaxico found a loophole in the system that saved him from the law’s decision. That won’t save him from the paddle wielding overlord of the NFL.

A final tip for Plax: stop carrying guns in high-traffic areas, or at all. Secondly, I hope you have some comic books to slip down the back end of your pants because Roger’s coming for you. If recent history has proven anything, it’s that Goddell’s judgment falls harder than Chris Brown’s music popularity.

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