We've all joked about filling out a bingo card with cliches from sports broadcasts, and now we’re actually doing it.
Yep, we’ve created a 2014 NBA Finals bingo card so you can mark down every flop, predictable quote and dinosaur scream that occurs during and after each game of the series. The rules follow those of typical bingo: If you get five in a row vertically, horizontally or diagonally, you win.
The grand prize, of course, will be all of us screaming “Bingo! Popovich, you tight-lipped sandbagger!” and smugly congratulating ourselves for predicting that these typical events and storylines would all rear their heads in the Finals.
Here is the board:
And here are the explicit explanations for each square and its criteria:
B1: Tim Duncan surprised face.
B2: ABC runs footage of Chris Bosh’s champagne shower.
B3: Media member uses phrase “extra motivation.”
B4: Kawhi Leonard’s hands mentioned.
B5: Gregg Popovich non-interview (20 words or less).
I1: Media member compares Duncan’s age to a younger player.
I2: Media member says “dynasty.”
I3: Bosh photobombs camera.
I4: Media member says “Hand down, man down.”
I5: LeBron James talks to courtside celebrity.
N1: LeBron or Manu Ginobili flop.
N2: Media member makes “Spurs play the right way” comment.
N3: Media member says “three-peat”/Free Space.
N4: Dwyane Wade wears loafers without socks.
N5: Drake sighting.
G1: Spurs fan has “Built Not Bought” sign.
G2: Someone yells at Mario Chalmers.
G3: Boris Diaw goes into god mode, destroying defenses at will.
G4: Lil' Birdman sighting.
G5: Miami fans leave early.
O1: Bosh dinosaur scream.
O2: Media member makes LeBron James/Michael Jordan comparison.
O3: Media member talks about Spurs’ “international players.”
O4: Popovich facepalms.
O5: Camera shot of ominous Pat Riley face.
Good luck and Godspeed, everyone. I'll be on Twitter keeping track if you have questions.
On the Twitters, praying for Duncan face.