Sports Siblings: A Little Too Far from the Tree

Q: What's the one thing more embarrassing than being Jose Canseco?

A: Being Ozzie Canseco.

Jose's identical twin played just 24 games in the major leagues and, unlike his steroid-addled brother, never hit a home run.

Good thing he's got those sweet good looks to skate by on.

Jeremy Giambi is living proof that steroids don't make you a better player.

His brother Jason used and was subsequently awarded a monstrous contract. Jeremy used and continued to be a below average player who seemingly only stuck around the league because of his name.

On the bright side, Jeremy is the most beloved Giambi to Yankees fans. He was the one who didn't slide and got tagged out on Derek Jeter's famous play in the 2001 ALDS.

Cal Ripken Jr. was one of baseball's all-time greats, on and off the field. One of baseball's classiest players, Cal Jr. was most famous for his streak of consecutive games played.

Billy, on the other hand, was most famous for a controversial baseball card.

It certainly doesn't help that Billy played on the very same team as his legend brother and managed by his father.

The light is shined brightest on failure the closer it is to success.

Wow, that was deep. I just made that up.

Last year, Pau Gasol was traded from the Grizzlies to the Lakers, immediately making the Lakers one of the best teams in the league and helping to lead them to the NBA title this year.

Included in that deal, basically overlooked by everyone, was Marc Gasol, whose rights were swapped with his older brother.

Marc Gasol is what would happen if Pau gained 50 pounds, stopped caring about his physical appearance, and started producing at about 75 percent of what he does now.

Brent actually holds a record in the NHL, although he only played for the Lightning for 13 games. He is part of the highest scoring pair of brothers in NHL history!

2,857 points by Wayne, four by Brent.

Way to hold your own, Brent.

Lucky for him, in Canada you really can get lucky by using the pickup line, "Hi there, I'm Wayne Gretzky's brother."

Michael Schumacher has won seven Formula One World Championships. Younger brother Ralf won seven races in 11 seasons.

It's hard enough being the younger brother of one of the most successful drivers of all time.

It's even worse being the younger brother of one of the most successful drivers of all time...and having your name be Ralf.

Somebody has to be the butt of all the jokes at Thanksgiving. For the Barry family, that falls to Scooter.

Another sibling doomed to mediocrity by a crappy name, Scooter had three brothers and a father all play in the NBA.

Although he was an integral part of the 1988 National Champion Jayhawks team, Scooter only managed to play overseas and never made it to the NBA.

Patrick was the mild-mannered younger brother of temper tantrum-throwing John McEnroe.

P-Mac was a pretty good doubles player, but doubles don't really matter. Winning a doubles title is like winning a WNBA title, only fewer people care.

The only time Pat got to a singles final, he was dispatched by his own brother John.

Now Patrick captains the U.S. Davis Cup team. You know how the old saying goes:

Those who can't do hope that enough people have forgotten that they can't do and subsequently hire them to coach that same thing that they couldn't do in the first place.

Or something like that.

Matt Hasselbeck is a three-time Pro Bowler and led his team to the Super Bowl. His younger brother, Tim, was a career backup who is most famous for his wife being on The View.

In one game against the rival Cowboys, which Redskins fans surely remember, he earned a 0.0 quarterback rating, completing just six of 24 passes and throwing four interceptions.

Tim should have tried eating more Campbell's Chunky Soup or finishing off his workout with some EAS. It seems to have worked for Matt.

Brook Lopez might have had a shot at Rookie of the Year if Derrick Rose had not been playing. He developed his offensive game and has proved himself to be a major threat for a young team.

Robin Lopez's main job last year was to gleefully participate in pregame routines with Shaq. Now that the big fella has moved on to Cleveland, no one is really sure what Robin's role is anymore.

He might have a job playing a grown-up Zero in a Holes sequel.

Taylor may not have the athletic ability, offensive game, rebounding skills, toughness, jumping ability, or quickness of his brother Blake, but he...uh...he...

Wow, what is notable about this guy?

Oh, I know. He is automatically a first teamer for the Brian Cardinal All-Stars for players who enter the league with notable beginnings of male pattern baldness.