Let's talk about "intangibles"—those wispy little traits that can't be measured in a metric or found in the box score.
Everyone loves to use this vague term when discussing the Danny Woodheads and Wes Welkers of the world—less-than-ideal specimens chocked full of good intentions and long-cut American GRIT. And maybe they have a point.
After all, plenty things are immeasurable—or at least impossible to confirm. Who's to say when the "hardest" hit in American football occurred? How do we go back and confirm the BAC level of the drunkest major leaguer to ever throw a strikeout?
We can't, but what we can do is apply our noggins and make a highly subjective judgment on the matter, which is the aim of this slideshow.
The following are a number of weird sports records we completely made up. I cannot confirm any of these, as they are based on zero science. Nonetheless they are records and deserve to be included in the Guinness Book of World Records along with the rest of humanity's extraordinary and ultimately pointless feats.