The WWE is in need of some help when it comes to the shows (mainly Raw).
So I'm sending an e-mail to the WWE requesting the signing of Chuck Norris. Here's our five reasons why Norris should join the WWE.
Real Stuff Baby
If Norris is signed, WWE can give a taste of real wrestling to the fans. Instead of having the whole show scripted, you can have a part of it real. Norris doesn't need to be scripted to win—he can do the ass-kicking perfectly already.
Have Shelton Benjamin vs. Norris in a "real" match. That should get the fans out of their seats (even if they already know that Norris will win).
If Benjamin actually tried, maybe the match would last a few minutes, until a Roundhouse kick is delivered to end the match.
Damn, but then the WWE superstars would all be injured after they face him.
Norris would have the best WWE finisher if he was signed. And everyone would know once that baby hit, it would all be over. The Roundhouse kick would be more dangerous than the RKO, Sweet Chin Music, and any other lethal finishers.
Norris all the way! But sadly, everyone would probably be begging not to face Norris then.
Hmm, more issues.
If you want a two-hour show, but you find yourself a few minutes short you can just throw in a match with Norris. That should fill the time void.
Longest Reigning World Champion
If you would sign Norris, then you would have a superstar who can break the record for longest world title reign.
I mean come on! Is there actually a superstar who can beat him? And if the script writers tell him to lose, he'll just Roundhouse kick the script writer and ask the rest, "Anyone else think I should lose?"
And that solves that.
Chance To Debut And Push New Stars
Signing Norris would mean that you can debut lots of new talent. Also you can push some of the mid carders and young guys.
Norris will help you do this by basically crippling all of the current main event stars like Dave Batista, Randy Orton, Triple H, John Cena, and anyone else he just doesn't like.
The problem is when he's done with just about all the good wrestlers, you can find that you are going to have to resort to Vince McMahon fighting as well as some kids you find on the street.
Personal Threat From Chuck
Listen here, all of you at the head office. If you don't sign me, I'll get a car, I'll find and I'll Roundhouse kick you so hard that your grandchildren will feel it!
And then I'll take your wives, but only the ones I like. The ones I don't like shall join you in the after life after I Roundhouse kick them. Got that?