For the Win: The Coolest Stuff of the Week
Punch that timesheet and hit the road, everyone.
I know it's that time of the year, and you're all en route to various beer gardens, ether frolics and electric cowbell concerts. You're ready to kick off a wonderful, summer-esque weekend, and I get that. But before you hit the lights and crack the glow sticks, let's look back at the best of the last seven days.
Right now Thunder Bob, Lance Stephenson and CrossFit fails are winning the world of sports (or in CrossFit's case, extreme working out).
Bang a gong, everyone. It's winning time!
Lance Stephenson Blowing on Things Meme
Lance Stephenson became a myth this week.
The Indiana Pacers shooting guard fully transitioned from court jester to Chupacabra trickster god during Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals. Stephenson crashed the Heat's huddles, tormented his opponents and flopped with the graces of a thousand Magikarps.
His crowning moment, however, came when he decided to blow gently into LeBron James' ear. Stephenson crouched down next to the biggest sports star on the planet and blew a stream of mouth-air into James' ear canal. Naturally, this spawned a recurring meme of Stephen blowing things. My personal favorite takes a slightly different angle, however.
CrossFitters Failing Hard
Like Chicken Soup for the Hater's Soul, a compilation of CrossFit fails fell out of the sky this week and nourished the masses with its goodness.
Uploaded by Fail Army, the compilation shows CrossFitters doing what they do best: going shirtless and torturing their rotator cuffs.
Can they kip it? Yes, they can.
Chris Sale Goes Ape to 'Call Me Maybe' over Memorial Day Weekend
Our formatting restrictions don't allow me to post the video in slideshow format, but if you click here, you'll see Chris Sale losing his sweet gourd to Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe."
The Chicago White Sox pitcher was filmed this past weekend going Ham-town at some celebration (hopefully a wild bar mitzvah).
Wine glass in hand, Sale body-rolls and sings to a coming-of-age tween soundtrack. I cannot recommend this footage enough.
Artist Turns NBA Playoff Moments into Animated Masterpieces
Considering my artistic abilities peaked in fifth grade with a relatively symmetrical drawing of Goku, I have all the respect in the world for Richard Swarbrick—the artist and filmmaker who has taken NBA playoff moments and transformed them into moving art.
Commissioned by ESPN, Swarbrick has drawn LeBron being LeBron, Serge Ibaka destroying Tony Parker's layups and Paul George dropping a needle into James' eye in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals. We can only hope Swarbrick is currently slaving over a canvas, immortalizing Russell Westbrook kicking Tim Duncan in the jimmy bin.
White Sox Fan Snags Flying Bat, Saves Baby
No babies are taking a Louisville Slugger to the soft spot—not while Eileen Depesa is on watch.
The Chicago White Sox fan saved an infant from a serious case of wood-to-the-cranium this week when Tyler Flowers lost the handle on his bat and sent it whipping into the stands. Depesa caught the flying bat with one hand, saving the infant in the row behind her from potential harm.
Her reaction was the brave one, while her male companion went the way of the box turtle.
Johnny Manziel Goes to Vegas
Vegas, baby! Vegas!
Johnny Manziel's trips to Vegas are better than yours or mine. We all have good old-fashioned, borderline criminal fun, but he ends up at pool parties, while I end up in a Yellow Taxi driving through the murder haven of North Vegas at 4 a.m. looking for a lost wallet.
Manziel flew out to the strip and met up with Rob Gronkowski over the weekend and danced onstage at what looks like the pool party to end all thoughts of other pool parties. He stays winning.
Thunder Bob Saves the Day
He's not the hero Oklahoma City deserves. He's the hero it needs.
Meet "Thunder Bob,"* the OKC superfan who showed up to Game 3 of the Western Conference Finals on Sunday with a simple plea painted on his chest: "Just Win."
And win the Thunder did. Oklahoma City won so hard Thunder Bob put on his mask and proceeded to take extremely goofy pictures with Shaquille O'Neal.
*People call him "Thundora," but he's not an explora and that's a terrible name. He is Thunder Bob to me.
Josh Beckett Throws a No-No, America Gets Free Pizza
Josh Beckett threw a no-hitter on Sunday, and the nation at large profited.
As part of their ongoing "#DomiNoNo" promotion, Domino's gave away 20,000 free pizzas to the baseball fans who went online and redeemed their offer on MLB.com. The pans given out were medium, two-topping pizzas and were best enjoyed while watching replays of Beckett's spectacular shutout against the Philadelphia Phillies.
God bless America, Josh Beckett and free pizza.
And the Winner Is...
It came down to a close one between Thunder Bob, Manziel's Vegas trip and Lance Stephenson blowing things, but the memes won by a hair.
You have to give the man credit: He apologized for provoking LeBron and then went right out and set the bar for in-game trolling at a height that Reggie Miller claims he would never touch. That's special.
On the Twitters.