Ranking the Complexion of the AFC West Coaches

Rick OliverCorrespondent IJune 27, 2009

FOXBOROUGH, MA - 2008:  Josh McDaniels of the New England Patriots poses for his 2008 NFL headshot at photo day in Foxborough, Massachusetts.  (Photo by Getty Images)

It is still June so I will continue with my Random Rankings series. Today we will rate the AFC West coaches by their complexion.


At the bottom of the list there can be only one, and that is Norv Turner. The teenage years must have been hell for Norv. He clearly grew up in the pre-Clearasil generation.  How many zits does one have to have to get that complexion anyway?


Next comes the ruddy faced Tom Cable. You might want to up the blood pressure meds Tom. There is no way on earth this man is healthy. Maybe I could suggest that Tom and JaMarcus Russell start sharing a double cheeseburger meal and pass on the super size. I am just saying.


Todd Haley, what can you say about his complexion?  It is very unremarkable. Maybe a few too many days in the brutal Arizona sun and a razor shy of a clean shave but other than that he looks fine. He would be top on the list if not for Josh McDaniels.


After replacing the leathery faced Mike Shanahan with the pre-pubescent looking McDaniels the Broncos have vaulted themselves into first place. Even if the Raiders still had Lane Kiffin, he would be no match.


McDaniels looks absolutely baby faced. I know he is only 33, but this guy looks 13. He has a fairer complexion than my 5-year-old for crying out loud. If I see him on a little league team I will turn him in. I may not get anyone to believe me but, so help me, I will do it.


So there you have it. The Broncos have slaughtered the competition in the AFC West coaches’ complexion contest. Look out Raheem Morris, we are coming after you in the league-wide competition.