Using a tiny proportion of the money they would make from staging a World Cup, FIFA have financed a new film called United Passions.
The vanity project—which launched this week at the Cannes Film Festival—stars Gerard Depardieu as World Cup creator Jules Rimet, Sam Neill as former FIFA president Joao Havelange and Tim Roth as the incumbent head honcho Sepp Blatter.
According to the Guardian, the film bills itself as "a group of passionate European mavericks" coming together to create FIFA.
Blatter is among those said to be portrayed as "a visionary and icon of the global game," perhaps owing to the fact that the 78-year-old is thought to have tweaked the script himself.
The trailer suggests the film won't trouble the Palme d'Or voters, with its saccharine depiction of an organisation blighted by controversies, scandals and a tremendously incompetent leader.
In light of Blatter's apparent role in the script editing process, here are some of the scenes that might be changed or suspiciously absent from the final cut.