Kings Guard Isaiah Thomas Says He'll 'Be Getting Taller Next Year'

Jim CavanContributor IMay 20, 2014

Sacramento Kings's Isaiah Thomas in action during an NBA basketball game against the Philadelphia 76ers, Wednesday, March 12, 2014, in Philadelphia. (AP Photo/Matt Slocum)
Matt Slocum/Associated Press

Between the space-age weights, improved nutrition and designer workout regimens, today’s NBA players boast just about every possible tool to help make them bigger, faster and stronger.

But only one player holds the secret to making oneself taller, even years after science insists you’ve stopped growing: the Sacramento KingsIsaiah Thomas.

No, Isaiah, you haven’t broken the news “too early.” You broke it far, far too late.

How long has Thomas been in possession of this mysterious, gravity-defying secret? Did he know about it when James Naismith was around—back when centers were 6’1”? Could he have helped turn Bob Cousy into a 7-foot basketball Goliath?

This is obstruction of the highest order. We demand answers.

Well, at least the guy who figured it out was a 5’9” point guard. We’re not sure how many documented cases of 25-year-olds having huge growth spurts there are, but probably not many.

If Thomas isn’t going to disclose his secret, it’s up to us to figure out what it is. Here are my three best guesses:

1. A full course of summer classes at the renowned Gheorghe Muresan College of Strategic Verticality.

2. Lots of raisins.

3. Straight-up lying about his height.

Thomas is coming off a season in which he averaged 20.3 points, 6.3 assists and a PER of 20.5, in the process planting himself in the upper echelon of up-and-coming NBA point guards.

And while such a deficit of size would be a burden for most players, Thomas has used the attendant speed and quickness to devastating effect: blazing blistering paths to the rim while leaving trails of tears and feet severed at the ankle in his wake.

The question is whether he’ll continue executing his Lilliputian exploits with the Kings. Indeed, it’s highly likely someone will exceed Thomas’ $1.4 million qualifying offer, thereby forcing Sacramento to either match or let their budding floor general go.

As Bleacher Report’s D.J. Foster pointed out back in February, a lot will likely depend on how the upper end of Sacramento’s ledger shakes out:

The likelihood of that will probably depend on Rudy Gay and whether he accepts his player option worth $19.3 million or opts out for a long-term deal. Point being, it's certainly a conceivable scenario that Sacramento will indeed be a taxpayer next year, which is a scary proposition given the makeup of the roster.

Money does appear to be on the mind of Kings management already, as Sacramento took a small step toward cutting next year's salary by trading Marcus Thornton to the Brooklyn Nets for Jason Terry and Reggie Evans.

With the NBA’s point guard talent the highest it’s ever been, it’s unclear how many teams will be willing to go out on a limb for Thomas’ services.

If you’re the Kings, however, and you're serious about building around DeMarcus Cousins, anything resembling a reasonable offer sheet ought to be matched. Especially if your 5’9” point guard turns into a 6’8” point guard by the Fourth of July.