You can either play by the rules or take a Brett Hundley laser to the orbital socket.
These are your only choices in Hundley's new video, where the UCLA quarterback and teammate Luke Gane combine to enforce every last rule on UCLA's campus.
Nina Mandell of For The Win spotted the video, which was put together for the campus' annual talent showcase, Spring Sing. In short, it is amazing.
Hundley stalks the campus looking for perpetrators and adjusting attitudes with well-placed, pigskin fastballs to the face. There are lessons to be taught, and he's here to make sure these kids learn today. The show is stolen, however, by Gane—Hundley's reliable hype man.
Indeed, behind every strong superhero, there's a dude with a ragged, piercing voice waiting to jump out and talk trash to the recent recipients of justice.
Here are some of my favorite quotes by Gane:
"Keep it in your pants, Mark!"
"We tryin' to breathe well out here!"
"You got to feed yo tummy before you feed yo mind, GUH!"
Unfortunately, Hundley is cut down in his prime, the victim of his own unyielding sense of justice. He takes two pieces of fruit from the mess hall and is forced to turn in his ball to the police station. This would be less funny, you know, if University of Oklahoma players hadn't been fined for the crime of "pasta in excess" this spring.
Altogether, this is a funny, well-made video. The NCAA might've instituted a new "unlimited food" ruling, but the premise of campus over-regulation still stands.
As for Hundley, he seems to be enjoying his decision to stay in school for another year.
Many predict the 20-year-old could be among the top prospects in the 2015 draft should he put together a strong junior campaign. I predict he’ll go on to the NFL while Gane will be receiving offers for the WWE.
You can never have too many good hype men.
You gon' learn today, UCLA.