New Oregon Duck Uniforms Introduced! (Humor)

« Prev
1 of 10
Next »
Use your ← → (arrow) keys to browse the slideshow
New Oregon Duck Uniforms Introduced! (Humor)

The Oregon Ducks, a fashion leader in Pac-10 football, have done it again! They have rolled out new uniforms for 2009.

The uniforms, designed by Nike with input from the players themselves feature Nike's patented "Pro Combat" pads and titantium belt loops (instead of the heavier steel belt loops of uniforms past).

With an endless number of home and away uniform combinations, not even head coach Chip Kelly will know what colors the team will ultimately wear onto the field until a few minutes before kickoff.

"The precise uniform combination for each home and away game will be sent by secret code from Nike's headquarters to University athletic department officials who have been sworn to secrecy," said an Oregon athletic department official, who is not authorized to speak on the subject of Oregon Duck uniforms.

From there, highly-trained chimpanzees will respond to a series of blinking lights on the code box in the Oregon Ducks locker room.

Rewarded with bananas for pushing the right buttons, one of 384 storage lockers will open where each unique uniform combination is stored. The chimps then place a complete uniform in front of each player's locker.

"The entire process is sheer genius," an anonymous Oregon official said.

Begin Slideshow »
Load More Stories

Follow Oregon Ducks Football from B/R on Facebook

Follow Oregon Ducks Football from B/R on Facebook and get the latest updates straight to your newsfeed!

Oregon Ducks Football

Subscribe Now

We will never share your email address

Thanks for signing up.