"My husband cannot f-----g throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time!"
Sounds like you're with the wrong man, Gisele.
Tom Brady's wife famously went on this postgame rant after Super Bowl XLVI. However, judging by a recent Vine put together by high school cornerback Gary Haynes, you can throw up your own Hail Mary and catch it. Kind of.
Nicole Conlan of SI Extra Mustard spotted the slick, seven-second video of the Manvel (Texas) High School standout heaving up a ball, sprinting and appearing to catch his own pass.
"I don't think this video is doctored, even though it's a Vine, which means it could be edited," wrote Evan Jankens of CBS Detroit. "I believe it's authentic, though."
Indeed, such is Haynes' strength and speed, he must wait for the ball to fall into his arms.
Props for the creative video, young man. Film students throughout the nation will study this for inspiration while Greg Schiano will surely try to teach the method to a Pop Warner team this fall.
I imagine him crushing juice boxes underfoot and howling at a group of winded children:
"You only catch it if you go 100 percent all the time! [Throws live cat in the air] 500!"
As for Brady, he may have the Super Bowl rings, but he'll never have the hardware to catch his own pass in triple coverage. I know. How does he live with it?
But what does this mean for Teddy Bridgewater's draft stock?